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CL: Basel 1 – 0 United

CL: Basel 1 - 0 United

Last minute goals are for tools. We’ve always said that. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. If the second half was anything like the first half it must’ve been an awful match. 2. I didn’t watch the second half. 3....

United 4 – 1 Newcastle

United 4 - 1 Newcastle

37 more wins like this and the EPL is ours (read our MBM twitter feed to save yourself a click on here). 5 things we learned: 1. Painting fresh plaster is extremely tiring. 2. Paul Pogba and Marcus Rashford were...

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RT @UtdRantcast: Picasso had his blue period, Louis van Gaal had his Nick Powell period.
20 months ago from Twitter for Android

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250ney! Revroo!!
Features, New things..., United stuff

250ney! Revroo!!

  Wayne Mark Rooney. Captain. Leader. Legend. 250 goals scored in a United shirt to take the record out of Sir Bobby Charlton’s skeletal grasp. To put that in perspective: If he played for another 36 years he’d have 1000…

United vs. Brighton

United vs. Brighton

(@Benglorious) Brighton are renowned for the invention of rock, even though everybody secretly knows it was Lenny Kravitz. Prediction: Goals for the Rash and the Marsh see the Unitesh to a comfortable victory. Lukaku to get a timely lift off his sister and Lando by thinking really hard. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Are we playing Newcastle again? I’m out if we’re not. Prediction: I’m out. 3-0 United.   I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of...

CL: Basel 1 - 0 United

CL: Basel 1 – 0 United

Last minute goals are for tools. We’ve always said that. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. If the second half was anything like the first half it must’ve been an awful match. 2. I didn’t watch the second half. 3. I hope that implication was clear. 4. Because the first half was terrible. 5. What was the final score? 6. Why do they keep sending cannon fodder after Frank? These are supposed to be professional...

United 4 - 1 Newcastle

United 4 – 1 Newcastle

37 more wins like this and the EPL is ours (read our MBM twitter feed to save yourself a click on here). 5 things we learned: 1. Painting fresh plaster is extremely tiring. 2. Paul Pogba and Marcus Rashford were legit marvellous. 3. My preview said 3-0us and 4-1 kinda is 3-0 so I am a footballing genius now. 4. Spare a thought for the poor brave journos, they’ve had a a rotten weekend. 5....

CL: Basel vs. United

CL: Basel vs. United

(@Benglorious) The last thing standing between us and qualification for the knockout stages of the Champions League is a team called Basel, or, as our American cousins say, Ahreggano. Jokes, I don’t have an American cousin. If I did, he or she would have very easy access to firearms but have to wait until they were 21 before they could buy a drink. I hope they live somewhere with beaches and have lots of money....

United vs. Newcastle

United vs. Newcastle

(@Benglorious) See the Basel preview in the future for my Newcastle preview from the past. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Newcastle United – or as the purists know them, The Black and White Stripers – are a team near the North Eastern hamlet of Sunderland. Their entire economy is based upon their patented Brown Ale sales, conveniently ignoring the fact most ales are actually brown. Their manager (fat, Spanish) has extensive PL experience (FACT lol)...

Chelsea 1 - 0 United

Chelsea 1 – 0 United

Remember after four or five games in to the season when we were all saying how amazing Jose Mourinho was; Matic and Lukaku were the best signings ever and the missing pieces in the title jigsaw, and how good we were playing? Neither do we. Here’s another 5 things we learned from yet another game, in the season that keeps on giving games: 1. If we kicked the ball in the net we would score...

Chelsea vs. United

Chelsea vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Chelsea are the reigning champions. They play in blue kits in a nice part of London called Fulham. They used to have a player called Bumstead and another called Spackman. These names still make me laugh. Do you know what else makes me laugh? John Terry crying. Prediction: If she don’t come, I’ll tickle her bum with a lump of celery. Lukaku to hold off transmitting his application to the academy for one...

CL: United 2 - 0 Benfica

CL: United 2 – 0 Benfica

Daley Blind > Anthony Martial > Romelu Lukaku > Jose Mourinho > Daley Blind. Here’s 5 things we learned about football: 1. Equality is good, but kids shouldn’t be professional goalkeepers. 2. Unless they play for anyone else. 3.The hidden blade is back, baby, and it’s fucking siiiiiiiiick. 4. deli alley’s goals were good.

CL: United vs. Benfica

CL: United vs. Benfica

    (@Benglorious) Having not watched the Spurs game due to being roped in to building some decking with the worst hangover of my adult life, I don’t feel I am in a position to comment on United’s form going into this Champions League match. Prediction: We will fucking crush Benfica and make their six year-old goalkeeper cry. Lukaku to get cocky despite Han’s friendly warning. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) “Football. Bloody Hell!” Now whilst...

United 1 - 0 Tottenham Hotspurs

United 1 – 0 Tottenham Hotspurs

Geno love being able to use ‘Legman’ as header picture: Benno’s best* a joke. Ashley Young owned Deli Alli, apparently. Deli Alli can only dream of being as good as Ashley Young one day. Another cracker! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Returning to boyhood haunts is bittersweet at best ie The Prom = sweet, Leroy from Fame being dead = bitter. 2. If you want to buy some 3D pictures (dinosaurs, dolphins, kittens), I...

EFLC: Swansea 0 - 2 United

EFLC: Swansea 0 – 2 United

I’m in a queue for tickets for next round. Bite me. Here’s 5 things what we learned: 1. GTA survivals have gotten a lot harder. 1. 40yr-old consumer units do not meet current safety regulations. 2. That was meant to be 2. 3. That one wasn’t. 4. 2 that is, not one.

United Vs. Tottenham Hotspurs

United Vs. Tottenham Hotspurs

(@Benglorious) Too busy. Whatever Tom says. Prediction: Tom to say nothing. 0-0 United.   m  (@tom_mcghee) Too busy. Whatever Brett says. Prediction: Brett to say nothing. 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) Too busy. Whatever Benno says. Prediction: Benno to say nothing. 0-0 United.

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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