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Chelsea 1 – 0 United

Chelsea 1 - 0 United

Remember after four or five games in to the season when we were all saying how amazing Jose Mourinho was; Matic and Lukaku were the best signings ever and the missing pieces in the title jigsaw, and how good we...

Chelsea vs. United

Chelsea vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Chelsea are the reigning champions. They play in blue kits in a nice part of London called Fulham. They used to have a player called Bumstead and another called Spackman. These names still make me laugh. Do you...

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@bifurcated_utd:
RT @UtdRantcast: Picasso had his blue period, Louis van Gaal had his Nick Powell period.
19 months ago from Twitter for Android

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250ney! Revroo!!
Features, New things..., United stuff

250ney! Revroo!!

  Wayne Mark Rooney. Captain. Leader. Legend. 250 goals scored in a United shirt to take the record out of Sir Bobby Charlton’s skeletal grasp. To put that in perspective: If he played for another 36 years he’d have 1000…

Chelsea 1 - 0 United

Chelsea 1 – 0 United

Remember after four or five games in to the season when we were all saying how amazing Jose Mourinho was; Matic and Lukaku were the best signings ever and the missing pieces in the title jigsaw, and how good we were playing? Neither do we. Here’s another 5 things we learned from yet another game, in the season that keeps on giving games: 1. If we kicked the ball in the net we would score...

Chelsea vs. United

Chelsea vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Chelsea are the reigning champions. They play in blue kits in a nice part of London called Fulham. They used to have a player called Bumstead and another called Spackman. These names still make me laugh. Do you know what else makes me laugh? John Terry crying. Prediction: If she don’t come, I’ll tickle her bum with a lump of celery. Lukaku to hold off transmitting his application to the academy for one...

CL: United 2 - 0 Benfica

CL: United 2 – 0 Benfica

Daley Blind > Anthony Martial > Romelu Lukaku > Jose Mourinho > Daley Blind. Here’s 5 things we learned about football: 1. Equality is good, but kids shouldn’t be professional goalkeepers. 2. Unless they play for anyone else. 3.The hidden blade is back, baby, and it’s fucking siiiiiiiiick. 4. deli alley’s goals were good.

CL: United vs. Benfica

CL: United vs. Benfica

    (@Benglorious) Having not watched the Spurs game due to being roped in to building some decking with the worst hangover of my adult life, I don’t feel I am in a position to comment on United’s form going into this Champions League match. Prediction: We will fucking crush Benfica and make their six year-old goalkeeper cry. Lukaku to get cocky despite Han’s friendly warning. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) “Football. Bloody Hell!” Now whilst...

United 1 - 0 Tottenham Hotspurs

United 1 – 0 Tottenham Hotspurs

Geno love being able to use ‘Legman’ as header picture: Benno’s best* a joke. Ashley Young owned Deli Alli, apparently. Deli Alli can only dream of being as good as Ashley Young one day. Another cracker! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Returning to boyhood haunts is bittersweet at best ie The Prom = sweet, Leroy from Fame being dead = bitter. 2. If you want to buy some 3D pictures (dinosaurs, dolphins, kittens), I...

EFLC: Swansea 0 - 2 United

EFLC: Swansea 0 – 2 United

I’m in a queue for tickets for next round. Bite me. Here’s 5 things what we learned: 1. GTA survivals have gotten a lot harder. 1. 40yr-old consumer units do not meet current safety regulations. 2. That was meant to be 2. 3. That one wasn’t. 4. 2 that is, not one.

United Vs. Tottenham Hotspurs

United Vs. Tottenham Hotspurs

(@Benglorious) Too busy. Whatever Tom says. Prediction: Tom to say nothing. 0-0 United.   m  (@tom_mcghee) Too busy. Whatever Brett says. Prediction: Brett to say nothing. 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) Too busy. Whatever Benno says. Prediction: Benno to say nothing. 0-0 United.

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

 @Benglorious) I like watching football when we win. I won’t be watching tonight. Prediction: Lukaku to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. 0-0 United. m     m  (@tom_mcghee) As the questions over Brett’s tenuous grasp of reality continue to flood the secret DM group that me and Benno have, it’s time that someone provided the answers to both of them: 1. No fucking chance 2.We’ll split it 50/50, bagsy his shoes  ...

Huddersfield 2 - 1 United

Huddersfield 2 – 1 United

Still not wasting jokes on this.

Huddersfield vs. United

Huddersfield vs. United

Not wasting joke on this.

CL: Benfica 0 - 1 United

CL: Benfica 0 – 1 United

What a game. Here’s 5 things we learned that we have never learned previously, but don’t check any of the previous reviews as that might compromise our special relationship: 1. Rashford is the only acceptable proof of God’s existence. 2. That keeper is the only person in the world who is worse at his job than Brett. 3. Legit fell into a coma. 4. I got better. 5. I actually spent the entire first half...

CL: Benfica vs. United

CL: Benfica vs. United

 @Benglorious) After the weekend’s disappointing game against Liverpool in the mediocrity of a competition that is the Premier League, tonight is a welcome return to the unrivalled magnificence of the UEFA Champions League European Cup Sponsored By Gazprom. Mourinho rested a good number of his squad ahead of this match, with many of them seen playing on their Sony Playstations or kicking back with an ice-cold Heineken, Pepsi, Pepsi Max or Gatorade as their team...

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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