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Stoke 1 – 1 United

Stoke 1 - 1 United

Here’s 250 things we learned: 1. Rooney is a god. 2. I’ve always said that. 3. Yes I have. 4. He’s a dedicated follower of fashion. 5. Oh yes he is. 6. Oh yes he is. 7. Other lyrics.

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

   (@Benglorious) Stoke means to add coal or other solid fuel to (a fire, furnace, boiler, etc.), to encourage or incite (a strong emotion or tendency), and also to consume a large quantity of food or drink to give one...

Bifur-tweeted MBM

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@bifurcated_utd:
RT @UtdRantcast: Picasso had his blue period, Louis van Gaal had his Nick Powell period.
9 months ago from Twitter for Android

Bi-Benno: United Acrostics...

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Season Review Innit
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Season Review Innit

  *Hilarious introduction*    @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either…

Stoke 1 - 1 United

Stoke 1 – 1 United

Here’s 250 things we learned: 1. Rooney is a god. 2. I’ve always said that. 3. Yes I have. 4. He’s a dedicated follower of fashion. 5. Oh yes he is. 6. Oh yes he is. 7. Other lyrics.

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

   (@Benglorious) Stoke means to add coal or other solid fuel to (a fire, furnace, boiler, etc.), to encourage or incite (a strong emotion or tendency), and also to consume a large quantity of food or drink to give one energy. One of these is where the football team we are playing today gets their name from, but historians cannot decide which one. m Prediction: Tom to think it’s super easy to transfer a Youtube...

A.Nnie: Romero

A.Nnie: Romero

United 1 - 1 Scum

United 1 – 1 Scum

  CAPS LOCK AND VARIOUS BUTTONS ON MY COMPUTER HAVE LEGIT GONE TO SHIT> SEND HELP> CAN”T EVEN DO PUNCTUATION> FUCK MY LIFE> Here’s 5 things we learned, which were written before the buttons issue above: 1. Pogba is bad. 2. #Pogba is worse. 3. Hope we long ball our way to next season’s Champions League Final. 4. Klopp is a speccy twat. 5. Watching Wayne play is no longer funny on any level, feels like actual...

United vs. Scum

United vs. Scum

   (@Benglorious) Winning nine matches in a row is lovely and a real morale booster, but eight of those wins were against West Ham and the other one was just Spurs so let’s not kid ourselves. Today is the real test: Liverpool. Their league position suggests they are ahead of us and they possibly do come here as favourites. Liverpool are having a very good season and we will have to do everything we possibly...

V.Ice: Fellaini

V.Ice: Fellaini

EFLC Semi Final First Leg: United 2 - 0 Hull

EFLC Semi Final First Leg: United 2 – 0 Hull

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEEEEEEVE US… WE’RE GONNA WIN THE LEAGUE cup semi final first leg. Lol @ Loserpool.     Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. That Fellaini/Keane/Lily Allen gag was pretty good. 2. For you. 3. Winning is good, we should have tried it earlier. 4. Some woman just let her dog do a really loose shit on my drive. She’s...

EFLC Semi-Final: United vs. Hull

EFLC Semi-Final: United vs. Hull

 (@Benglorious) Win this game and we’re one step closer to the final of this so-called ‘EFL Cup’. Win the final of this so-called ‘EFL Cup’, and United will have the first part of a continental treble the likes of which has never been seen before. Even by Liverpool. m Prediction: Lots of good defending by the defenders and lots of good goals by the goalers. 0-0 United.    (@tom_mcghee) Please paste my words: I am...

FAC: United 4 - 0 Reading

FAC: United 4 – 0 Reading

In years from now you’ll be able to tell your grandkids, “I was there!!” A goalscoring feat that we’ll be talking about for generations to come. Cementing one of United’s GOAT’s Hammerlegend status. One of those goalden moments… January 7th, 2017: Marcus Rashford with YET ANOTHER one-yard smash. Nothing else of note happened.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Rashford is gud. 2. Reading is bad. 3. Rooney has scored a lot of goals...

T'Pau: Jaap Stam

T’Pau: Jaap Stam

FAC: United vs. Reading

FAC: United vs. Reading

 (@Benglorious) AND LEEDS m festival m Prediction: Benno to outsmart those chumps who thought they’d taken all the reading jokes. 0-0 United.    (@tom_mcghee) Manchester United Vs Reading is the very last thing we should be encouraging; reading is essential to humanity’s education and future – for us to just attack the concept is both immoral and unethical. Reading – a brief history According to noted essayist Alberto Manguel, reading has a quirky and passionate...

West Ham 0 - 2 United

West Ham 0 – 2 United

Long lost brother (Another) guvner’s chicken curry (victory) Cor blimey (for) old taming of (the) twice fortnightly (mighty) double beds (Reds) white picket fenced (against) door (the) horses stable (lovable) Cockernee (cockney) Round-o’-darts (counterparts) Jean-Claude Van Dammers (West Ham).   Donkey’s tears (Here’s) a mambo (five) queens and kings (things) me ol’ china (we) jury burned (learned) cor blimey (in) Knees down (defeating) any ol’ Iron (any old iron):   1. They only had 10...

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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