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Bifurclownshoes “Season” Review

Bifurclownshoes "Season" Review

*abso maverick glolorific intro to rapturous applause* *from Paul*   Here’s some questions we asked each other to pad this excuse for Tom to share his considered thoughts on the 2018/19 season:   1. What shape is a/the wheel? Benno:...

United 0 – 2 Cardiff

United 0 - 2 Cardiff

Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool....

Bifurclownshoes "Season" Review
Features, New things...

Bifurclownshoes “Season” Review

*abso maverick glolorific intro to rapturous applause* *from Paul*   Here’s some questions we asked each other to pad this excuse for Tom to share his considered thoughts on the 2018/19 season:   1. What shape is a/the wheel? Benno:…

United 0 - 2 Cardiff

United 0 – 2 Cardiff

Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool. 2. I’d rather have no chance of winning the league from the start than have all my hopes and dreams crushed on the final day of the season by Sergio Aguero 3. Wait… 4. It’s...

United vs. Cardiff

United vs. Cardiff

  (@Benglorious) At least when this game is over we can look forward to not hearing about United until next season. Not one single word about how bad the players have been. Nothing about how our rivals have surpassed us easily. Nothing about potential transfers, both in and out. It’s going to be glorious. Prediction: Goals for Lukaku, Sanchez, Young, Smalling and Young again. Why not? 0-0 United.  M  (@tom_mcghee) To paraphrase Shakespeare, ‘now is the...

Huddersfield 1 - 1 United

Huddersfield 1 – 1 United

Looking forward to really concentrating on that top 7 finish next season. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Endgame had a lot of people in it 2. At least ten 3. Thanks for the spoilers 4. I knew if I waited long enough I’d look better than Chris Hemsworth with my top off. 5. Saw someone say Alexis Sanchez does more than Marcus Rashford and I’m afraid I have to now log off forever  

Huddersfield vs. United

Huddersfield vs. United

  (@Benglorious) I think it was Chaucer who first wrote ‘Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin I came to win, battle me, that’s a sin. I won’t ever slack up, punk you better back up’ and to his credit, he was right. I’ve forgotten my point. I hope the others hope I enjoy Endgame but I bet Brett doesn’t. Prediction: Thor to be fat, [Redacted], [Redacted] and [Redacted] to die/get old. No-one mentions...

United 1 - 1 Chelsea

United 1 – 1 Chelsea

1. Fuck it, stick the McTominator in nets.

United vs. Chelsea

United vs. Chelsea

  T. Won’t be doing words today pals i legit would rather stick forks in my eyes than write about those cunts. B. Bit harsh on Chelsea. B. Seconded.

United 0 - 2 City

United 0 – 2 City

As if.

United vs. City

United vs. City

(@Benglorious) Sussed. Prediction: That to make sense when you read Tom’s. M  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t be arsed already bored of talking about it with cunts on twitter. Benno do you remember at primary school how Jody brown would always be like ‘ha, sussed’ I’m sure all of Twitter are his children. Also Abso glols at Ed trying to suggest Pogba was good at Everton. Quoted his tackling stats: 100%. How many tackles you ask? Well just the...

Everton 4 - 0 United

Everton 4 – 0 United

So glad we fucked of those preview words. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Dedham Vale is definitely an area of natural beauty but I don’t know if it’s as outstanding as they claim. 2. Fuck you Manchester United fuck you in your stupid asses you are clownshoes  you are moribund 3. Oooh check out who had a dictionary in their Easter Egg

Everton vs. United

Everton vs. United

  T. Fuck words today it is too nice outside also I’m watching megamind so far I give it 4/5 capes (my new rating for superhero films). B. I too like Megamind. B. Fourthed.

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) - (0) 0 United

CL: Barcelona 3 (4) – (0) 0 United

Imagine being nutmegged from 22 yards, through your arms, when your arms are your USP, and the ball is travelling slower than a stationary object in reverse… <<<< Not looking at anyone in particular. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We are proper fucking shit and I can only see us being proper fucking shit for the foreseeable future 2. Love Ole but he was clearly the cheapest option and that’s why they chose him....

CL: Barcelona (1) vs. (0) United

CL: Barcelona (1) vs. (0) United

  (@Benglorious) Yet another pivotal night in United’s Champions League history. I don’t know about you, but I’m fed up with all this midweek rigmarole. Hopefully the lads feel the same and make this the last game we have to suffer through for a couple of years. Prediction: A half-hearted, going through the motions performance followed by a humble but heartfelt tribute to the fans. Better luck next time. 2-1 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) Everyone fucking loves...

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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