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EL Final: Ajax 0 – 2 United

EL Final: Ajax 0 - 2 United

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE UUUUUSSSS… WE’RE GONNA WIN THE europa LEAGUE cup!! Here’s 5 things we learned on this historic night for Wayne Rooney: 1. Seems we...

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

 @Benglorious) *waits to see what tone the other two are going for with their previews* *wanks whilst waiting*       Prediction: United to throw the kitchen sink at Ajax, who send it back glistening because detergent lol. Debut goals...

Bifur-tweeted MBM

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bifurcated_utdbifurcated.co.uk
@bifurcated_utd:
RT @UtdRantcast: Picasso had his blue period, Louis van Gaal had his Nick Powell period.
14 months ago from Twitter for Android

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250ney! Revroo!!
Features, New things..., United stuff

250ney! Revroo!!

  Wayne Mark Rooney. Captain. Leader. Legend. 250 goals scored in a United shirt to take the record out of Sir Bobby Charlton’s skeletal grasp. To put that in perspective: If he played for another 36 years he’d have 1000…

EL Final: Ajax 0 - 2 United

EL Final: Ajax 0 – 2 United

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE UUUUUSSSS… WE’RE GONNA WIN THE europa LEAGUE cup!! Here’s 5 things we learned on this historic night for Wayne Rooney: 1. Seems we are now in a Champions League? Also seems Arsenal aren’t. So. Many. Lols. 2. Herrera should remake Roadhouse. 3. Football conquers all. 4. Especially Ajax. 5. And City through the medium of song.

United 2 - 0 Palace

United 2 – 0 Palace

Who cares?! Here’s five thing we learned, but didn’t really care to learn: 1. Labyrinth is on. 2. She’s proper hamming it up. 3. I hope Fitz and Simmons stay together when they get out the matrix. 4. Omg have you not seen the season finale yet? 5. No spoilers yo !! 6. Shit. Already spoiled it by saying there’s a season finale. Sorry dawg

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

EL Final: Ajax vs. United

 @Benglorious) *waits to see what tone the other two are going for with their previews* *wanks whilst waiting*       Prediction: United to throw the kitchen sink at Ajax, who send it back glistening because detergent lol. Debut goals for both Marcus and Rashford. 0-0 United.  m  (@tom_mcghee) I’ve got nothing. I lack the ability to write anything that means something in light of Monday’s attack but with that in mind, I really really...

United vs. Palace

United vs. Palace

m (@Benglorious) Finally we have come to the final game of the season. No more football after this final game for a whole four years. Or two if you count the Euros. I don’t know about you, but I’m actually looking forward to extra helpings of politics once the football is done. Long live the Queen.   Prediction: United to play like they’ve got nothing to lose except this game. And my love. 0-0 United.  m...

Southampton 0 - 0 United

Southampton 0 – 0 United

We asked Jose Mourinho to comment on the last 6 years of Bifurcated, and he had this to say: The intensity is there. Which is just what I ask for. I could not ask for more.  Here’s 5 things we learned when the football interrupted our 90 minutes of doing other things to ease the pain i.e glassing ourselves with glass made from sharks: 1. Football is rubbish 2. There’s these cunts on GTA that...

Southampton vs United

Southampton vs United

(@Benglorious) Southampton are yet another of those teams that played Sunderland one day and stole their kits. Seriously:  why do so many teams have the same kits? I may be colour-blind, but even I know there’s enough colours in a set of Crayolas for every team to have a different colour shirt. Southampton could easily have a Burnt Sienna home shirt and a Jazzberry Jam away one. They could even do a third strip in...

Totspurs 2 - 1 United

Totspurs 2 – 1 United

Did you ever hear the best-selling, blockbuster movie story about the basket of all the disappointment that we sucked on after Wednesday 24th May 2017? No. Well, we’ve copyrighted it. And our lawyers are completing their online lawyer course. So, bite our bangers. Here’s 5 things we learndured: 1. Rooney still has a lot to give 2. Volunteering at a charity shop. 3. Where he can be that plastic guide dog you put money in...

Tottenham Hotspur vs. United

Tottenham Hotspur vs. United

(@Benglorious) Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Prediction: The season to be over, yet there still to...

EL Semi Final: United (2) 1 - 1 (1) Celta Vigo

EL Semi Final: United (2) 1 – 1 (1) Celta Vigo

Despite our best efforts over the previous 75 games, we have finally (finally is another word for Fellaini) made it to the final (final is another word for Fellaini) of the Europa League. United’s Europa League campaign = Derren Brown’s infamous Russian Roulette trick. But with us preferring the chamber was full of live rounds. Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-De-De-De-De-Doo, De-De-Doo… Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-De-De-De-De-Doo, De-De-Doo … it’s the final clown shoes.   Here’s 5 things we learned about our historic final...

L.Skynyrd: Blind

L.Skynyrd: Blind

EL Semi Final: United (1) vs. Celta Vigo (0)

EL Semi Final: United (1) vs. Celta Vigo (0)

    (@Benglorious) Tonight is make or break, do or die, dog eat dog, boy meets world, girl on girl, north by northwest for United. The Europa League is our last shot at being big time Charlies this season, but there’s always the chance we will massively balls it up. Well, not even massively knowing us. Prediction: A debut goal for Rashford on his debut followed by Herrera literally being scared to death by his...

W.Houston: Ander

W.Houston: Ander

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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