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Tottenham vs. United

Tottenham vs. United

m (@Benglorious) Fuck Andy Murray. I don’t hate him because he’s Scottish. I don’t hate him because he’s a miserable cunt. I don’t even hate him because he plays the most Tory of sports. I hate him because he let...

FAC: United 2 – 0 Reading

FAC: United 2 - 0 Reading

Sir Ole Gunnar FergSolkjaerson used this FA Cup tie as the perfect opportunity to show just how much we needed to pay any team to take Sanchez off of our hands. Genius imho. If only we could win every single...

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Tottenham vs. United

Tottenham vs. United

m (@Benglorious) Fuck Andy Murray. I don’t hate him because he’s Scottish. I don’t hate him because he’s a miserable cunt. I don’t even hate him because he plays the most Tory of sports. I hate him because he let the Green Goblin kill Gwen Stefani. Prediction: Respect from Poch, enthusiasm from Ole, narrative from the press, Jenny from the block. 0-0 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) I’ve always liked Andy Murray; good at tennis and fantastic...

FAC: United 2 - 0 Reading

FAC: United 2 – 0 Reading

Sir Ole Gunnar FergSolkjaerson used this FA Cup tie as the perfect opportunity to show just how much we needed to pay any team to take Sanchez off of our hands. Genius imho. If only we could win every single game by scoring a million of goals and being the superior team, regardless of the eleven players we put out, just like the olden days.     Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Reading, righting,...

FAC: United vs. Reading

FAC: United vs. Reading

  m (@Benglorious) After the thorough despatchings of Cardiff, ‘uddersfield, Bournemouth and Newcassal, Ole’s first real test as United’s interimming temporary caretaking non-permanent manager comes today in the FA Cup final. Solskjaer’s boys will be looking to make sure the Writing is on the wall for Reading, ensuring their place in History. Maths. Prediction: Yet more goals, inducing a giddiness amongst United fans that hasn’t been felt since Wednesday night. 0-0 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) I...

Newcastle 0 - 2 United

Newcastle 0 – 2 United

Out of Office until 4th January

Newcastle vs. United

Newcastle vs. United

Out of Office until 4th January

United 4 - 1 Bournemouth

United 4 – 1 Bournemouth

Starting to think sacking Mourinho was a good idea after all. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Pretty sure Rashford’s mum and dad are Maradona and Pele 2. Pele definitely not the dad 3. lol because of his limp member 4. lol

United vs. Bournemouth

United vs. Bournemouth

    (@Benglorious) There’s nothing better than a top of the table six-pointer the day before New Year’s Eve. Except for smart water. That shit is tight. Prediction: Goals for all the players who pooped in Jose’s kettle at the Lowry. 11-0 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) I am out of the office until Jan 4th. Please direct all enquiries to someone who gives a fuck. Prediction: Valencia to be the best captain he can be and...

United 3 - 1 Huddersfield

United 3 – 1 Huddersfield

We’ve written “a lot”, so, no need to fill with this introduction this week.       Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Now we definitely know. 2. Stream was so bad I couldn’t really watch it. First half was ok but then it kept freezing loads then it went back in time, then it started jumping back in time and then to now (then) so I missed the third goal. I tried to restart...

United vs. Huddersfield

United vs. Huddersfield

  (@Benglorious) They should rename Boxing Day as Pooping Day because that’s all I’ve been shifting out that end all morning. From log cabins to rusty water and all the varieties of pebbledash in between, I haven’t even had time to try on all my new socks at once because I’ve been practicing surrealism on a porcelain canvas. Fucking love Christmas. Prediction: Many goals for players who dropped tools on Mourinho, many apps, many dancings....

Cardiff 1 - 5 (5ive) United

Cardiff 1 – 5 (5ive) United

Found this picture of Manchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in our Media Library … no idea. In preparation for the next game, the main focus over the next few days has to be getting Tom to get a better face to put Ole’s face on to, after Benno and (to a lesser degree) Brett abso nailed it.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Now we know. 2. Yo, Slick, blow. It’s drivin’ me...

Cardiff vs. United

Cardiff vs. United

    (@Benglorious) I haven’t been this excited about a former United legend becoming our manager since 2015 when I took us through 5 unbeaten seasons in all competitions on PES 2016. Now I’m not saying Ole has a lot to live up to, but I was also playing, captaining, and taking home the golden boot every season with an average of 73 goals. Anything less than this level of success and I think we...

Liverpool 3 - 1 United

Liverpool 3 – 1 United

He never learned from our learns. Here’s 5 things we learned – dedicated to the memory of Jose Borinho, cos borinBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA how have we not used that befoBAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!   1. Conceding two goals to that weird troll man is a damning indictment (his legs are far to short for his weird body) 2. Something about a clothing range proving something or other 3. Fuck all these guys fuck em right up...

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