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FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

     (@Benglorious) The FA Cup final. Today is when we finally see the results of our 38 training matches this season culminate in a tactical masterclass, leading to United winning the most important, if not the only, trophy in...

United 1 – 0 Watford

United 1 - 0 Watford

Goodbye Michael Carrick, you were a wonderful … I’m gonna say … midfielder man?!   WOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOO!! NO MORE RUDDY GAMwhat? FA Cup what? FFS.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Didn’t watch it on a stream or even the...

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250ney! Revroo!!
Features, New things..., United stuff

250ney! Revroo!!

  Wayne Mark Rooney. Captain. Leader. Legend. 250 goals scored in a United shirt to take the record out of Sir Bobby Charlton’s skeletal grasp. To put that in perspective: If he played for another 36 years he’d have 1000…

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

     (@Benglorious) The FA Cup final. Today is when we finally see the results of our 38 training matches this season culminate in a tactical masterclass, leading to United winning the most important, if not the only, trophy in European club football. Winning the FA Cup for the second time in his career will be Jose Mourinho’s crowning achievement, eclipsing Arsene Wenger’s paltry seven wins in the competition, and confirming the Special One as...

United 1 - 0 Watford

United 1 – 0 Watford

Goodbye Michael Carrick, you were a wonderful … I’m gonna say … midfielder man?!   WOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOO!! NO MORE RUDDY GAMwhat? FA Cup what? FFS.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Didn’t watch it on a stream or even the highlights that’s how little I care now. 2. Agents of SHIELD was lovely, Fitz & Simmons got married. 3. I listened to the Liverpool game on the radio because I was repairing plaster. 4. They...

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

  (@Benglorious) Football’s out for summer Football’s out for ever That last one’s probably not 100% accurate but you have to hand some artistic licence to Mr Cooper, whether you’re hanging with him or not. You also have to give the man some serious credit: he literally has a song for every occasion – when school’s out, when you need to get elected, when there’s poison, when you’ve got a hungry Frankenstein… The list goes...

West Ham 0 - 0 United

West Ham 0 – 0 United

JFC, STILL ONE MORE GAME TO GO! KILL ME! NOW! PLEASE! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Football is a great game. I love it so much. 2. It is the greatest game and I love it. 3. More like Mark IG-Noble !! 4. More like IDGI-Noble !! 5. I love football more than all of us and me combined.

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

    (@Benglorious) It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul. Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. Martial to do a madness and Zlatan to kick the ref’s face off. The goal stands. 0-0 United.    (@tom_mcghee)...

Brighton 1 - 0 United

Brighton 1 – 0 United

A If we can beat all the top teams, and yet get beaten by all the worst teams, and yet can win, lose, or draw against all the mid-table teams, and still finish se, no I’ve forgotten my etc.     Here’s another 5 things we learned, even if we haven’t learned what the league is called: 1. One of the worst games of the season and we’ve had a fair few to choose from...

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

(@Benglorious) I still can’t believe there’s games left in this shitpot season. At least we’ve got the whole summer to get a break from football. Prediction: Brighton to have an interesting concept, but make poor use of Will Smith, have a terrible plot and just not be a cohesive piece of filmmaking. How can you fuck up a film about orcs with machine guns?!? Goals for Lingard and Martial. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Legit had no...

United 2 - 1 Arsenal

United 2 – 1 Arsenal

a He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink. He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink. He sings the songs that remind him of the good times. He sings the songs that remind him of the best times… Who ‘He’ is … I guess we’ll never know.     Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Give Fellaini Brett’s wages. 2. His pockets are not deep enough. 3. And besides are filled with hundreds...

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

  (@Benglorious) Can’t believe I’ve only just realised that his name is Arsene and he’s the owner of Arsenal. It’s like they’re twins with unimaginative parents who love butts. Prediction: Wenger to sign off in his last game against United à la Steven Gerrard; by being linked to the Rangers job. Goals for Shaw and Welbeck bookend a credible win for Watford. Wenger to get a standing ovation from the knowledgeable Old Trafford crowd until he...

FAC SF United 2 - 1 Tottenham Spurs

FAC SF United 2 – 1 Tottenham Spurs

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSS … !!!! Wait. What were we saying?! andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus no, it’s gone.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. After a couple of minor upgrades Atreus becomes a decent ally to Kratos. 2. Herrera is the Lingard that Dele Alli thinks he is. 3. I like how every game lately has been like an A-Team episode...

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

(@Benglorious) The sun is shining, God of War is up and running, and it’s FA Cup semi-final day. I don’t want to seem like I’m exaggerating when I say this is the greatest day in the history of our species, but it truly is the greatest day ever. Prediction: Goals for Sanchez, Pogba and Smalling give United what looks like an easy trip back to Wembley for the final until the review board awards all three...

Bournemouth 0 - 2 United

Bournemouth 0 – 2 United

We learned nothing. That doesn’t count.

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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