June 2016

Athletic Bilbao 0 – 4 United

I put £5 on Arsenal overturning Milan last week. Close, but no cigar. So, based on the wild logic that my ability to predict football results is predictably out by at least one goal I’m going for a scoreline that cannot mean United will lose, whoever scores the unpredictable 1 or 2 goal(s). My actual, […]

Athletic Bilbao 1 – 3 United

I’m still in awe of them from last week … But why not go for a win that’ll put us through? Lets just hope we make a good fist of it (as usual you can substitute that for a cliche of your choosing). If not, then I hope it doesn’t spoil a Bifurcated ‘staff’ night […]

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Rachel Turney

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Rachel Turney

Friend of Bifurcated Rachel Turney  (@rachel_jj2011 ) and Deputy Editor of the Football United Blogs Fanzine was popping next door to borrow some sugar, but as she left the house she was confronted by a train station that had appeared on the door step. The conductor handed her a £1 coin and pointed towards the platform. There was only […]

United 2 - 0 West Brom

United 2 – 0 West Brom

Well luck again proved to be our most consistent performer, but better all round today. Signs of Chicha, Welbeck and Rooney working better together, but have had so many false dawns this season that it’s hard to get excited. Aaahh, who am I kidding it’s  really easy to get excited! (I’m still not falling for the trick. We […]

United 4 – 2 West Brom

Just can’t see us keeping a clean sheet, but hopefully will have enough luck on our side to get through another game, luck being the only constant we can rely on. YOU DON’T FOOL US ANYMORE WITH YOUR TRICKSY “ALWAYS GETTING THE BEST OUT OF THE SQUAD” NONSENSE. I WANT SOME NEW PLAYERS IN THE […]

Mario Balotelli: The 100% Unofficial Interview

Mario Balotelli: The 100% Unofficial Interview

The Beeb may have had that fella off of Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, who’s name escapes us, for their interview with Mario Balotelli, but their big PR love-in was of course paid for out of our pockets!! It goes without saying that Mario Balotelli and Noel Gallagher would have been paid millions of pounds for their time, a significant […]

United 2 – 3 Athletic Bilbao


United 2 – 1 Athletic Bilbao

Tonight we’ll finally get a clue as to how seriously we are really taking the Europa League when we see the line up. I can’t help but feel we’ll be disappointed. The strong team (as I keep banging on about) we put out for the first leg against Ajax was, I think, more a consequence […]

Who thinks Evra is no longer all that?

Who thinks Evra is no longer all that?

RIGHT! You, you, and you at the back with your two hands up, outside NOW! I’ll be out in a minute to give you a really good telling off. Look at him ——————————————–> You’ve really upset him now. Poor Paddy; you heartless beasts. Look, before you start, left backs are all rubbish at defending, FACT,  […]

Spurs 1 - 3 United

Spurs 1 – 3 United

One of the worst performances I’ve witnessed all season. Carrick in particular, first half, was very poor in possession and none of the front players had turned up with the intention of using any of their critical faculties. But … It’s absolutely terrifying how we managed to come away with that scoreline. If you listen carefully you can probably […]

Spurs 0 – 1 United

I quite clearly don’t want this to be the score, I’d much rather an “X” amount of goals thriller, but as sometimes tends to happen when two generally attacking teams meet, they cancel each other out. Great that Scott Parker is out and even better if Bale is too. I don’t buy this, beating a […]

Danny, the Champignon of the World

Danny, the Champignon of the World

Do you like being wrong? I like being wrong. Do you like being wrong? I like being wrong. Love being wrong. Love it. Yeah. It’s great being wrong, isn’t it? Yeah …  I like being wrong. Really like being wrong. Really, love being wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Love IT! Yeah, really, REALLY love, love, LOVE being wrong. […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...