March 2016

United 1 – 0 Aston Villa

Every sinew of my being is telling me there is just no way that we can come away from this game without a win. I really think under normal circumstances that I’d be predicting us to roll over Villa comfortably, but there’s no question that we are struggling to play with any quality and now […]

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Adam Pinfold

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Adam Pinfold

United fan and friend of Bifurcated Adam Pinfold (@adampinfold) was off out to band practice, but as he left the house he was confronted by a train station that had appeared at the entrance to his block of flats! (I think we can guess what’s coming by now)   The conductor handed Adam a £1 coin and wagged his finger […]

Wigan 1 – 0 United

*GULP* (*CTRL + V* We need better players.)

Wigan 1 – 2 United

It would be easy to lose focus after City’s title challenge capitulated somewhat on Sunday and  although admittedly I can’t see them hauling back the eight point gap, that could all change if we were to drop points in this game. In summation, we need to keep winning. Aren’t you glad I’m here? Wigan, or Martinez, […]

United 2 - 0 QPR

United 2 – 0 QPR

  Thanks to Ashley Young for garnishing this special day with a big slap in the chops. All the title talk today is obviously about the capitulation of Balotelli’s City career, but Ashley Young, who was also parodying himself with more than just THAT dive, deserves equal billing. Get rid. Simple. Scholes was wonderful (Beautiful […]

Easter at Old Trafford...

Easter at Old Trafford…


United 3 – 1 QPR

I give up trying to guess scores for now, well what’s this then, hey?! My fingers have a mind of their own, like tiny ‘phantom limbs’, it’s now such an intrinsic part of my weekend routine that I caaaaan’t sssssstop wrrrrrritinggggg… As we’re here let’s go for a 3-1, just because 2-0 and 2-1 are […]

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Lucy

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Lucy

United fan and friend of Bifurcated Lucy (@lkarko) was waiting for a taxi to take her into town. She heard the pip of the horn, but when she got outside it wasn’t the taxi waiting, no, it was the Bifurcated Train!   The conductor tossed her a  £1 coin and held out his hand  to […]

My Winter of Disconnect

My Winter of Disconnect

From an objective point of view, this season football has nudged itself ever closer towards a warped manifestation of utopia. It has lunged violently between menacingly good and astonishingly bad, intermittently grotesque and overtly sentimental. Aesthetes of stats and figures, connoisseurs of footy ‘lols’, perpetuaters of intellectual discourse, bastions of good old fashioned tribalism have all been nourished from […]

Blackburn 0 - 2 United

Blackburn 0 – 2 United

*CTRL+V* What would we do without T.V? Altogether … LOSE! It’s slightly surreal that we’re five points clear, the way the season has played out and considering how badly we’re playing. Man of the Match: David de Gea (Everyone’s favourite moody-twenty-something-teenager) p.s Here’s what the ‘human butterfly knife’ Ashley Young  just said after the game “It was […]

Blackburn 1 – 4 United

For the first time in a bit, I’m especially confident. Whether it’s Manicini’s terrible attempt at “Mind Games” or crying as it’s called where I come from, or whether it’s the fact that Blackburn already had all their luck against us (not as if I believe in that seriously, but then I don’t really believe […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...