January 2017

United 3 - 2 Fulham

United 3 – 2 Fulham

First things first … what a way to open your United account! RvP’s goal was a thing of beauty! Now, I didn’t see the whole match, but it’s overtly apparent that the concerns over our defence have not abated. As I wrote in the Everton prediction and reaction, it’s just the way it is for now.  It was a […]

Case File #8: Partners in crime fighting

Case File #8: Partners in crime fighting

He may no longer play for United, but we have managed to get our grubby little hands on the archived, top-secret, investigations he undertook while he was still under our employment… At Manchester United – without regular football as a distraction – Micky Owen was offered the opportunity to sharpen his detective skills. Along with his spirit […]

United 2 - 1 Fulham

United 2 – 1 Fulham

Have we all gotten over the BIGGEST SHOCK OF ALL TIME SHOCKING SHOCKS?! Good, we can begin… The key to this period is patently going to be how Fergie shuffles the few defenders who still have enough of their limbs in working order, along with the squad players he perceives as those who can “do […]

Everton 1 - 0 United

Everton 1 – 0 United

When within 90 minutes of the start of the campaign we’re having “SHOCK OF THE SEASON” shoved down our throats, the depressing inevitability of Football eventually eating itself crowns on the horizon. Oh Sky! With your patronising repetitive dirge ridden attempts to ingeniously trick us into chucking more money at you, you really spoil us. Aaaanyway … […]

Everton 0 - 1 United

Everton 0 – 1 United

I have the benefit of writing this after the teams have already come in for once, and unsurprisingly the team looks a little patched up with our recent rake of injuries. It’s a shame, but hey ho, thems the breaks (I don’t usually say stuff like that, sorry). I can’t help but be excited for […]

Our season preview game show: In A Word!

Our season preview game show: In A Word!

The following season preview game show In A Word was created before a live studio audience (That is, of course, if you can count Brett’s cat Casey as an audience?), before the signing of *Excited screams* Robin van Persie. AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAH!              

What's eating Wayne Rooney?

What’s eating Wayne Rooney?

The Euros, A.N. Other tournament where Wayne Rooney didn’t perform to a level expected of him, or for that matter anywhere even near it. He may not have had a spacecraft on hand to help him reach the heights of the outer stratosphere – as some might expect – but those sorts of lame excuses […]

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Melissa Hollis

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Melissa Hollis

United fan Melissa Hollis (@mel1046) was off out into town, but as she was getting ready she spotted a strange train- station-shaped train station had appeared outside her window (I think we can guess what’s coming by now!). The conductor handed Melissa a £1 coin and wagged his finger in the direction of the platform. There, of course, was only […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...