January 2017

Anderson. (I’ve actually run out of time, but I’d say it’s a solid pre-match statement – makes more sense than my usual s-h-one-t) Prediction: 2-1 Goals: Anderson, O.G

This feature-length directorial debut from Carlos Cuarón sees Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna re-conjoin like they do (see: Y Tu Mamá También and most other films one or the other is in) to create a dromedy (do people say that?) attempting to satirise contemporary Mexico. I’m a little bit of a fan of Gael García […]

Typical, I’m away for a few days and not only does Jonny Evans return, but he goes and scores and I miss two golden opportunities to unveil my Jonny picture. There were a few minutes where some of you may have been crossing your fingers, hoping QPR would keep their lead so, – as promised […]

He may no longer play for United, but we have managed to get our grubby little hands on the archived, top-secret, investigations he undertook while he was still under our employment… At Manchester United, without even a sniff of football as a distraction, Micky Owen had now held the position as SAF’s own personal detective […]

There’s a script somewhere that has Sparky beating us and therefore saving his job – the only problem is the plot is riddled with character flaws. I’m willing to go as far as to say that if we lose this game, I will stop writing these things for good. Oi! Who said they’d “be supporting […]

Well, that wasn’t so bad. Of course, it’s never great to lose, and even in “meaningless” games it does impact the moral of the squad to a degree. However, I think there’ll be a lot of positives taken from this game. Brilliant to see Phil Jones back in the team, Nick Powell continues to show […]

The endlessly repeated dialogue between rival fans, where the same clichéd ”bantz” are regurgitated over and over and over and over – akin to two blue bottle flies, either side of a pain of glass, attempting to fly at one another. The dispute inevitably runs out of steam, with nothing resolved or learned. The protagonists fall back […]

(This is a piece of art I did at art school – won’t bore you with the full story) With us through, and qualified top, I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the rest of the Champions League games. A great opportunity to nurse a few players back to fitness and give some experience […]

I was spending the evening after this game, with a couple of friends – one a united fan, and the other very much not. The second friend didn’t support United, because Rooney looks like a pig. In a strange way that put the game into perspective. Sometimes you win when you haven’t played well. Sometimes […]

Seems a lot of people are referring to this game in terms of what happened last time round – remembering Giggsy’s goal and the result, and perhaps forgetting how poor we were for the other ninety-something minutes, only saved by some amazing goalkeeping from De Gea. All Giggsy sentiment aside (he was pretty poor that […]

United fan, and good friend of Bifurcated, Liz Worsley (@LizWorsley) was sketching out some drawings for her brilliant blog My Sports Toons, when she was disturbed by the  sound of a flushing toilet?! It was only the Bifurcated  Train Conductor using her bathroom – we promise we’ll have words (I hope he washed his hands). […]