March 2016

Smalling

Smalling

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

Benno (@Benglorious) It’s all excitement and joy today in Bifurcated Towers as myself and Tom (the guy with the preview below mine that you always skip over to get to Brett’s little piece of insanity) are actually visiting the Theatre of Dreams in actual real life and stuff.  Apparently, the previews we write are for […]

FAC: Cambridge 0 - 0 United

FAC: Cambridge 0 – 0 United

Didn’t see it. I did hear Vangle saying everything was against us. Which sounds pretty unfair, and makes coming away with a draw a very sound result. I’ve just made a list of all the things I know (below) and even if it was only these things that were against us it would be especially […]

Valdes

Valdes

Episode 3 - Michael in the Middle

Episode 3 – Michael in the Middle

  Follow Konny on Twitter here, or visit his Soundcloud here.

FAC: Cambridge United vs United

FAC: Cambridge United vs United

Benno (@Benglorious) After being forced to make a grovelling apology to the entire writer’s room at Bifurcated Towers for my serious preview last week (THAT WAS THE JOKE FFS), I am pleased to confirm that normal comedy service will be resumed this week after all my internet privileges were revoked and four of my fingers […]

QPR 0 - 2 United

QPR 0 – 2 United

I didn’t watch the game, so relived it later in real-time through the medium of our quasi-futuristic allegorical meta-narrative aka the Bifurcated MBM. From what I can gather: no one got a sofa. We don’t like slippers. Phil Jones took two corners. One of us has lost a PS4 controller. Sean O’Sullivan is 13 times […]

Fellaini

Fellaini

QPR vs United

QPR vs United

Benno (@Benglorious) Coming off a defeat at home to Southampton last week, it’s easy to understand people’s frustrations starting to boil to the surface.  Van Gaal has, and has had from the start of his tenure, more leeway than the previous manager of Manchester United purely because of his outstanding achievements in the sport.  David […]

United 0 - 1 Southampton

United 0 – 1 Southampton

Well, after Benno got the score right (IN YOUR FACE HAYTERZ!) – which was step one of our seven step plan for World domination – he took his winnings from the beters and instead of investing in step two, he took the opportunity to leave Bifurcated. There was a montage, then he spent all his […]

Tony V

Tony V

United vs Southampton

United vs Southampton

Benno (@Benglorious) Southampton are yet another of those teams that played Sunderland one day and stole their kits.  Seriously:  why do so many teams have the same kits?  I may be colour-blind, but even I know there’s enough colours in a set of Crayolas for every team to have a different colour shirt.  Southampton could […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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