January 2017

City 0 - 1 United

City 0 – 1 United

The 5 most comprehensive learns you’ll ever learn: Whatevs) didn’t see it. Trevs) me neither. I like the idea of winning though. Jinxevs) same.

City vs. United

City vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) Writing your preview second usually means something has gone very, horribly wrong with the time/space continuum. That, or those pricks are just trying to show you up. Or you’re on holiday with very little free time to write what with all the sunbathing and drinking. The time/space continuum is probably the right answer. We’ll […]

EL: United 1 (1) - (3) 1Liverpool

EL: United 1 (1) – (3) 1Liverpool

Vangle just can’t win with you guys: A super rocket goal IN THE FIRST HALF AT OLD TRAFFORD. An untarnished record at home in Europe. HE’S NEVER LOST A HOME GAME IN EUROPE AS OUR MANAGER. NOT AFRAID to make the substitutions that bring us right back into the game. If I were Vangle, I’d […]

EL: United (0) vs. (2) Liverpool

EL: United (0) vs. (2) Liverpool

 Benno (@Benglorious) So far so good on avoiding the plague-carrying mosquitoes, but in focussing all my efforts on not getting injected with horrible diseases by tiny little creatures, I reunmisunderestimated an ancient and even more deadly foe: The Sun (not the newspaper – I won that particular battle years ago). I’ve been burned before and thought […]

FAC: United 1 - 1 West Ham

FAC: United 1 – 1 West Ham

The plucky minnows from Londons almost pulled off a giant killing of Goliath times Andre the Giant times Giant Haystacks times Jolly Green Giant proportions. However, a Martial worldy cancelled out a 25-yard hit and hope from some bloke who’s name is based on our glorious Captain Wayne Rooney’s fave question. At least for us […]

EL: Liverpool 2 - 0 United

EL: Liverpool 2 – 0 United

Good sulks, Sulks.

FAC: United vs. West Ham

FAC: United vs. West Ham

   Benno (@Benglorious) Fantastic scenes as I probably won’t be watching the match due to me going to Mexico to catch the Zika virus. May still be able to watch it with a tiny head, but scientists are unclear at this point in time. Opposition Summary: The yellow fever mosquito (Aedes Aegypti) can be recognized by white […]

EL: Liverpool vs United

 Benno (@Benglorious)   Another one of your ill-timed jokes? You and I are enemies now.   Ruddy love Thursday night football – The sound of the crowd, the smell of the bread, the vast selection of fruit and vegetables, the surprisingly excellent array of electrical goods… No, wait – that’s Sainsbury’s. I ruddy love Sainsbury’s. Thursday […]

West Brom 1 - 0 United

West Brom 1 – 0 United

  It was abrazos all round but not for Juan Mata, as he proved Mourinho and all the haterz absolutely right by single-handedly destroying all our dreams and ambitions and lives and relationships and worlds and futures and pasts and presents and historys and dreams within two first half-minutes of sheer and unadulterated and crazy […]

West Brom vs. United

West Brom vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) Fifteen wins in a row has put us right back in contention to win some trophy or other that we weren’t in contention to win at some previous point in history. Seriously though, there can’t be too many games left, can there? Christ, I hope not. I can’t take much more of this. Opposition […]

United 1 - 0 Watford

United 1 – 0 Watford

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! WE’RE GONNA DO A TREBLE!!!! Here’s 5 things we learned about this game/life: i) If you watch the first half and it’s bad actually bad but then have to go out and come home to find it’s 1-0, it’s loads funnier. B) Watford’s mistake was missing all their chances. appendix) Streams are good except […]

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

n n  Benno (@Benglorious) Henry? Jane? Focus? Mondeo? All potential answers to the ultimate question: Watford? *pause for laugh* Thanks, pretty proud of that one. Opposition Summary: Watford play in a vicarage so they always look forward to their away games where they can play on a full-size pitch and their fans can drink something other than […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...