United 0 – 0 Burnley
Another day, another 0-0 thrashing dealt out by the Mighty All Blanks! Looking forward to us introducing the Daba before matches, to psyche out opponents. Jose genuinely proved how much he genuinely cares about football by getting himself genuinely sent to the stands for being genuinely angry about the football he still genuinely cares so […]
United vs. Burnley
(@Benglorious) Vine has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this. Vine has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I wanna run to u. Really cant believe this. Vine has passed away. RIP u will live on forever. Cant believe it. I […]
EFLC: United 1 – 0 City
If you want to learn that beating City is loads better than losing to City, and that Herrera is really spoiling us (lol, like the chocolate advert. You fuck off and get new jokes), and that well known raconteur and Royal correspondent Paul Gunning had this to say, “If ‘Antonio Valencia actually has a left […]
United vs. City
(@Benglorious) United are coming off the back of one of their more humiliating league defeats, but the mood amongst the one fan I looked at in the mirror this morning couldn’t be more positive as this is the cup and all hit points are reset to zero. Wouldn’t that mean we were dead? I really […]
Chelsea 4 – 0 United
Blah blah blah Mourinho at Chelsea! Blah blah blah Mourinho at United! Blah blah blah Mourinho at Chelsea? Blah blah blah Mourinho at United? I wish I could read more about this, but my eyes are full of all the interesting opinions and statistics. Like he said himself, he’s ‘not 99% United and 1% Chelsea’. […]
United 4 – 1 Fenerbahce
Wayne “Roondawg, Skipperdy-Skip-Skip, Capper-Roo” Rooney returned to the first team and inspired a resounding victory against one of Europe’s averagest teams, who could make Dundee United look like 1990’s Ajax. And made everyone look relatively great again, in a competition that defies context, meaning, or worth. Great times. Paul Pogba, the second best of all […]
Chelsea vs. United
(@Benglorious) Chelsea have been promising for years to make tomorrow blue, but then they also enjoy tickling bums with celery. Why these two things are mutually exclusive, only scientists know. Not just any old-geezer-teaching-chemistry-in-an-Essex-secondary-school-who-got-handsy-that-time-after-school-when-he-was-demonstrating-the-various-properties-of-alkali-metals scientist, I’m talking real scientists, such as professors Cox, Hawking and Green. I’ve forgotten my point. Prediction: Chelsea to hopefully […]
United Vs Fenerbahce
(@Benglorious) Spent all day looking for a fucking drawing of Van Persie that some prick drew, only for the other prick, Bret to come along and steal all the picture-finding glory because he had it locked away in his own personal wankbank. I still have no idea why he even needs a picture of Robin […]