January 2017

 (@Benglorious) Coming out the slums, it’s the hoodlums. I’m pulling my gat out on all you bums. So bring it on when you want to come fight this outlaw, kicking like Billy Ray Cypress Hill. Chill, I’ll bust that grill, grab my gat and load up the steel. And if you want to get drastic […]

I’m not Hashtag Mourinho Out but imagine if that’s how you we started a serious adult sentence. Like your Da. Fergie apparently started out one point better than this. Moyes started out a bit better than that. Van Gaal started out a bit better still. Makes you think. About punching a hole in the Universe […]

 (@Benglorious) It’s a little known fact about our opposition today, but they don’t actually have anything to do with ham. Your best bet is venturing into a local supermarket, where they sell all sorts of different varieties of ham apart from west. You won’t see any football if you do this, though, so it’s a […]

When Jose Mourinho took the bold decision to throw £30m European Player of the Year 2015/16 Henrikh Mkhitaryan into the starting XI against one of Europe’s averagest clubs, in one of the meaninglessest competitions, few could have envisaged winning the Champions League, F.A Cup and English Premier League Treble, on the very same night!! GGMU!!!! […]

    (@Benglorious) Those two clowns have let that FBA almost-pre-nomination go to their heads recently. So much so that they’re making it look like they told me to write their previews whilst they live the high life, dining on the poshest of foods such as mushrooms and Bisto. Anyway, Firenord are a Dutch team, named […]

Keane and Vieira, Keown and Van Nistelrooy, Wright and Schmeichel, Wenger and Fergie, Wenger and Mourinho, Wenger and Dugout, 8 and 2, Title and Winning at Old Trafford, we gave your boys one hell of a drawing. Here’s 5 things we learned from the latest war, in this war to end all wars in wardom: […]

 (@Benglorious) It’s been so long since the last football I’ve actually had to watch some normal telly instead. Here are my findings:   Project Runway All Stars Smug Americans do a sew and also bitch about each other. Watchable, like Everton.   The Apprentice Smug Brits do business studies GCSE and also bitch about each […]

United RE-LIT THE MATCH of title challenges, with a ROCKET from Pogba and a couple of SPARKLERS from Zlatan, and a FIRE performance that would have made Guy Fawkes proud. Except they completed what they set out to do. Although in conceding a goal in the second half, they actually were getting quite close to the […]