As part of the “We are 1″ Bifurcated birthday celebrations we’re boarding the Bifurcated Train ourselves. First up is Brett to share his terrible taste in music. Let’s all look forward to having a jolly good snigger at him. Oh, here’s the train now…
As Brett got off the train he was affectionately shoved towards the car park and the now familiar wonder of the car-boot sale with the stall, run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United player Bryan “Robbo” Robson!
As the story goes, the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over buying a football club (*Yikes*), anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, it’s all just padding out the post really. We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”
“I had the most terrible education in music imaginable – my mum just played the Band Aid single all year round and so it took me ages to develop my musical tastes after that trauma. That first time I really fell in love with a song was when I heard The Battle of Who Could Care Less by Ben Folds Five, it must have been to do with the timing, as most of the reasons I love a certain song, or band tend to be. Whatever it was, I could now pick almost any Ben Folds song to represent my love for him and could easily pick all the five songs for this thing from his back catalogue. Bands come and go, as do albums, but I will always have Ben Fold’s music in my life. I picked Army solely because when I went to see him in Wolverhampton (incidentally, in the middle of a small football riot), during this song he mounted the piano (got up on top of it) and conducted the audience as we all sang the ‘ba-da-da-ba’ bit in unison. A very special moment. Did I say I love him already?”
“When I first heard The Streets on the radio I thought it was a test. Someone, somewhere was parodying the idea of “modern” music and we just had to sit it out and wait for the punchline. When that didn’t happen I somehow ended up owning the album. I have been a Mike Skinner fan ever since. I have to admit I cringe a bit when I listen to any of The Streets music with other people present. I definitely couldn’t defend his every lyric or action, but at the same time I’m drawn to everything he does. Again, I could have picked from any one of The Streets songs, but this is the first track on Original Pirate Material and I think it’s amazing. The sampled strings looped over the drum beat gives me goosebumps every time. And then he opens his mouth and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before (although have plenty since). It just keeps building, layer upon layer of sampled instruments, so intelligently crafted together. It’s something else.”
“This song is by my school friends. Any of the songs off their album instantly transports me back to my late teens, hanging out at house parties, in grubby pubs and the rugby club in Ambleside where they could always get a gig. At the time it was just something they did, we all did, but in retrospect they were always going to get signed, because they had this enviable musicality in them. When I lived with Andrew for a year while we were at art college, we used to write songs together and he was just incredible. He introduced me to a lot of music in that year, from The Beatles to Nick Cave. We were always mucking around. It was great. All these memories come back when I hear them; this song is probably my favourite off their first proper professional album.”
“I’ve always liked this song. When I met my girlfriend, Jayne, who is from Coventry, I liked it a bit more because it kind of reminded me of her in a roundabout, geographical, kind of a way. It’s now taken on extra meaning to me, and makes it into my top five because the company Jayne and I run together is on an old quiet street in a neglected corner of Bristol. We joke that this is our anthem. The second I hear the first bar – wherever I am – in my head we’re in our shop laughing together.”
“I wouldn’t say I’d class myself as a Magic Numbers fan as such, but through this song they’ve become quite a big part of my life. Sometimes a song just seems to collide with what you’re feeling at a particular time. When I was trying to woo Jayne from the evil clutches of her then boyfriend (The Swine!), this song was on the radio. My friend Adam had managed to get a regular slot on a community radio station and had asked me if I’d like to help him out, and I’d said yes. I took the opportunity, during one of the shows, to dedicate this song to her, in the hope that she, upon hearing it, would burst through the studio doors and into my arms. The reality is that she was stuck in her car, with that ogre, and the radio in the car was bust anyway. The story does however have a happy ending. When we started dating I went round to her flat and discovered she’d bought The Magic Numbers album, so she could listen to “our song”. There is also an epilogue to this tale. Our first holiday together was a road trip taking us, first north to Blackpool, and then down into southern Spain. The reason we went to Blackpool first, was to see The Magic Numbers in the Empress Ball Room.”
“One book?! Five songs took me long enough and I still couldn’t crowbar in Hip-Hop or Blur. Who’s making these rules? After not really reading books for the first half of my life, I’ve admittedly got a lot of catching up to do. I think I’ve made a reasonably good start. I can devour autobiographies by people I have more than a passing interest in very quickly, cus I’m very interested in our relatedness with each other, so could pick one of those perhaps. Last year I discovered David Sedaris, through Jayne, and absolutely love him. I love A.C Grayling and have just read Religion for Atheists by Alain de Botton (another of my favourite authors), which was inspirational, to say the least, as he always his. I could just keep cheating like this and talk about other books and authors I like, however, hands down the most beautifully written, exquisitely articulated novel I’ve ever read, and strongly believe I ever will, is Lolita. It’s absolutely breathtaking.”
…and then we dropped Brett off at Bifurcated Towers to get on with some work, not before giving him a massive wedgie.
To submit your own five favourite singles of all time and partake in our irritatingly naive kidnapping scenario email us at: