The Premier League could soon be left drowning its sorrows, as Water threatens to put the freeze on their long standing relationship.
Well, Well, Well: Bottle of water leaves Warnock hanging for the second time in a week.
The world was left to drink in the shock waves this week, as images emerged of highly acclaimed, and universally renowned The Premier League manager, Neil Warnock, being left humiliated by a bottle of water, not just the once, but the twice. However, the facts were only just bubbling to the surface…
High and Dry: Warnock can’t hide his disappointment at being left hanging the first time round.
When the original picture of Warnock was splashed across front pages and social media in mid-October, it was presumed a one off; something between Warnock and the bottle, but it soon became crystal clear that it was merely a drop in the ocean. The relationship between Water and The Premier League has been heading towards rocky shores for some time.
It wasn’t long before evidence of other The Premier League and The Other Leagues high-profile managers’ run-ins with Water resurfaced, highlighting the icy relations between the two superpowers:
Water-Shoot: Neil Lennon kicks some water.
Water-Gunner: Arsene Wenger kicks some water.
Water-Mark: Mark Hughes kicks some water.
Water-Powell: Chris Powell kicks some water.
It is rumoured that the clouds originally formed over the alliance, when ex-professional footballer John Barnes was secretly filmed, in a busy dressing room while on England duty, claiming that a rival brand “got to your thirst fast”, with the implication that they took sport more seriously than Water. The tension from this video, that went viral at the time, has remained, simmering just below the surface.
Years later and Sepp Blatter stirred up these tensions when he unwittingly reneged on a promise to supply Water with a lucrative contract, after plans he had originally drawn up for the Women’s game weren’t seen thru. A spokesperson for Water at the time claiming “Blatter’s deal just evaporated; it was all hot air.”
It isn’t just managers who have found themselves embroiled in the feud. The Premier League’s Frank Lampard was forced to leave Chelsea, to save face, when a bottle of water left him hanging live on television – ironically the particular bottle of water was sponsored by the rival company:
Water way to go: Lampard was forced to leave Chelsea.
And one of the The Premier League’s legends, David Beckham, was given no option but to leave the MLS and return to Europe, when American extremist bottles of water singled out the soccer star for some particularly humiliating treatment:
Water disgrace: David Beckham was singled out for some particularly humiliating treatment.
Water-Proof: More proof David Beckham was singled out.
Water-Front: David Beckham on the front-line of the ongoing battle between Water and The Premier League.
The latest fall out is thought to have sprung from leaked documents suggesting The Premier League are keen to tie up a big money deal with the rival company to Water, who now claim to ‘hydrate athletes better’. A water source said, “The founders, the H Brothers, and O [one half of the entrepreneurial siblings who formed ‘Air’, who was forced to consider personal bankruptcy when faced with the threat of liquidation] are waiting for the Premier League to come up with a solution. Behind the scenes they’re steaming!”
Claude O’ Zade: representative of the organisation and family behind the French-Irish competitor was unavailable for comment.
It’s clear, when it comes to Water and The Premier League potentially navigating these stormy seas, it’s glass half-empty, not glass half-full.
