Cardiff vs. United

(@Benglorious)

I haven’t been this excited about a former United legend becoming our manager since 2015 when I took us through 5 unbeaten seasons in all competitions on PES 2016. Now I’m not saying Ole has a lot to live up to, but I was also playing, captaining, and taking home the golden boot every season with an average of 73 goals. Anything less than this level of success and I think we can all agree that Mr Gunnar Solskjaer need not even unpack.

Prediction: So much goals. Too good footballs. Many player joys. Fan response thumb ups. 0-0 United.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

I don’t even know who this jolly Johnny soldier guy is but he sounds suspiciously Brexit to me. Which I hate.

Mysterious Island (1961)

Dross. Just awful awful stuff, legit makes you wonder how film survived the early years. Only redeemable feature is James Mason which is fun because I then spent most of the afternoon saying ‘I’m James Mason’ in my best James Mason voice (it’s good tbf).

Journey to the Centre of the Earth (1959)

Dross. Just awful awful stuff, legit makes you wonder how film survived the early years. Only redeemable feature is James Mason which is fun because I then spent most of the afternoon saying ‘I’m James Mason’ in my best James Mason voice (its good tbf). I watched both films in the same afternoon if this helps explain the James Mason thing.

Prediction: Someone to remember when Motson pronounced it Sol-Schka-ra wait i just did this i am a soothsaying genius. 2-1 United so as to show improvement but not so good as to abso confirm everyone’s been taking the piss.

M

(@bifurcated_utd)

I never never never never never never never never never never never never ever thought we would see the day when the infamous Norwegian Anti-American-corporate-pop Duo Oleg ‘n’ Arsehole Cher would be sexting with Fergie for tips on how to fit 11 men into 1.

Prediction: Captain Fellaini to equalise in the 89th minute. o-o United.