Chelsea vs United

jose-mourinho-angry-sad-one-happy-funny-pic-image-photo-chelsea-man-city-buble


goon Tom (@tom_mcghee)

Got to be honest, have no idea how this fixture exists – I mean he was ok in Cheers and admittedly brilliant as Frasier but 90 mins against a rejuvenated United? Can’t see it.

Prediction: due to decimating injuries, 84-0 to United, De Gea scoring all goals with his face as we show that pompous psychiatrist how we do things this side of the pond. It’s not a pond, I’ve just checked. Stupid comparison tbh; most ponds are loads smaller.

 .

.

 

 benno Benno (@Benglorious)

I got some comments the other day from a keen follower of ours called Robert Faghips (name has been changed to protect his identity) commending us on our comedic content.  Cheers, Boobs, we do it for the fans like you.  One day, you could be just as funny as us and be writing for the best Manchester United website-run-by-three-people-who-probably-shouldn’t-be allowed-to-have-access-to-the-internet in the world.  THE WHOLE WORLD, BOB!  That’s the biggest place on Earth.  Work hard, Robson!!

Even though Vangle’s boys have won something like eighty games in a row, today’s opponents are top of the league on goal difference.  Or points difference.  Or a different difference.  I guess we’ll never know.  Chelsea players to watch out for are:  A. Bun, A. Pensioner and Bill Clinton’s daughter.

Prediction:  The injury curse is well and truly back, with United having no fewer than seventeen players missing today with various maladies.  Vangle will have no choice but to call in some favours, and his 1995 Ajax team will travel through time to provide the back-up for Rooney, who’ll still have to drop into a deeper midfield role.  There’ll be early goals for Litmanen and Kluivert, and Rooney himself will seal the unlikely victory with a penalty after Seedorf is scythed down in the box by Courtois.  1-0 Chelsea.

 

WHERE ARE THEY RIGHT NOW?

Gabriel Obertan

article-1265887-0920FD2F000005DC-213_233x277

Hiding from the CIA in a CIA agent’s house.

 

.

.

Incarcerated Brett (@AtLeastMyCellmateIsGentle)

Its become clear to me in recent weeks that Tom and Benno are not only the best thing to happen to Bifurcated, but also the world, for ruddy ages. Please reward them both with jockey gold (as documented in the now classic Furious D Simpsons) and please know that I only implicated them during my arrest because I was scared.  I was not framed by them and I’m really looking forward to seeing that my family are all unharmed.

The guards are treating me well and in my confinement I’ve come to regret all the murders I did – “Sorry”.

Comments are closed.

More 'Predictions'

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

United vs. West Brom

United vs. West Brom

More 'Pregame'

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

United vs. West Brom

United vs. West Brom

Archive