Coming out the slums, it’s the hoodlums. I’m pulling my gat out on all you bums. So bring it on when you want to come fight this outlaw, kicking like Billy Ray Cypress Hill. Chill, I’ll bust that grill, grab my gat and load up the steel. And if you want to get drastic I’ll pull out my plastic glock, automatic synthetic material. Burial plots in order, headed down to the Mexican border. Smoking that smelly, Northern Cali, gonna put a slug in Captain O’Malley. Ho hum, hear the gat come, BOOM! Let me see what you’ll do. It’s a sin to kill a man, but I’ll be damned if I don’t take a stand against writing previews for midweek league cup games.
Prediction: Brett to wish his preview was first so everyone knew I stole his idea of using the raps. Oh. 4-0 United unless we do a United in which case it will be 4-4 United but probably more like 1-1 United. 0-0 United.
1-2 1-2 keep it on, listen to the shit cos we kick it till dawn. Listen to the abstract got it going on, listen to ladies come on and let me spawn. All your eggs then go up the river, listen to that abstract freaky SHUT IT DOWN.
Like Ma Bell, I got the ill communication. Word ‘em up, word word ‘em up.
Billy is deffos young man in black. Got the knife and everything. Actually just the knife. Billy might not be the man in black. That aside, pretty good.
Prediction: Andy Carroll. I don’t think I got the rap thing. 24-0 United, Nasri brace.
One, two, three and I come with the redneck style, cos you know I get paid by the mile, like Avis. I pave this, fast save this, everybody smile and act gracious. See I rob banks, I pull pranks; sometimes I eat franks and knishes. Best wishes, I’m vicious but here I am again like CNN, delivery my friend. Stick ‘em up punk, it’s the Fun Lovin’ Cup.*
Ffs, still 60 words short. Drat.
Me and Fast got the gats; we’re out to rob a bank. We got Steve outside and he’s carrying a full pack. Now everything’s cool and everthing’s schmoove. I walked up to the teller, I gave her the letter; she gave me the loot with puckered up lips and a wink that I found cute, and I said, “baby, baby, baby”. Oh, they don’t say it in this one. But word count.
*If fun for you is watching your team mine a draw from a game when winning 17-0 would be much easier.
Prediction: When the police guys investigate all these robbed banks, Steve is going down for time. Why can’t Steve have a nickname like ‘Fast’? Rookie mistake imho. 0-0 United.