Now it may come as some surprise to you to read that I like to see Man U lose. Indeed, that’s the main reason I’ve watched so many Utd matches these past couple of years. I’ve probably seen more Utd games than Brett. But that’s nothing to brag about round ‘ere.
At the moment they remind me of the baddy that simply won’t die, no matter how many wounds are inflicted on them. In fact they seem to fight better the more stabbed-up they are. I’ve been waiting, poised, or rather hunched over my laptop, and watching for the moment they sink to the floor and keep on sinking. I thought Spurs would deliver the telling blow but, f-me, the beast simply grew bigger.
One thing that does give me hope is that Spurs are the whipping boys of most of the top teams and so that game probably doesn’t bear too much significance on today’s game… it might even make Utd a touch over-confident.
Utd have often looked like an old dog trying to learn new tricks, but recently it’s been the old dog LvG learning Utd’s old tricks, reverting to a formation that looks more ‘traditional’. Ashley’s old and very effective trick (the fake to cross on the left foot and cut back to cross on the right – not the wrap leg round opposition in area and fall one) has been well used too. I can see Utd get some joy if using a similar tactic to the Spurs game – this time with Fellaini occupying Can and Young going past on the outside.
Anyway, you don’t want to hear me harping on, in my bitter way, about Utd, you want to know about the great ‘Pool, the mighty Reds, the Anfield Alumni. What does Jamie Redknapp have to say? I tell you what, wait ‘til the game for those pearls of insight. What I will tell you is that every team that has given us space to play has suffered the consequences. We’re looking sharp, confident and have still got some improvements due as players return from injury. I think that Coutinho will come in off the left and drag Carrick out of position and disrupt your build-up, if we can overload on the other side then we can cause some damage.
If both teams play defensively then it will be a disaster of a match, but I’m pretty confident that it will be an open game, with both teams leaving space in dangerous areas for the opposition to attack.
Prediction: Three goals to two, dunno to who.
Have you ever felt more trepidation over a fixture before? Have you ever thought to yourself that one game could define a whole season? Have you ever fallen in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone, ever fallen in love, in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with? If the answer to any of the above questions is ‘yes’, take two of these and keep reading. If you answered ‘no’ to all the questions, please skip to the next preview. Actually, skip all of them and do something more worthwhile like defrosting the freezer or trying a little tenderness.
I’m not trepidationed about today. Since the Moyes era, I think something inside me has died and I just can’t hide and I just can’t take it. Poor old Dave has made it acceptable for us to have no expectations. Vangle has done nothing spectacular since his arrival to help us get out of this mindset but he has asked his squad what love is, he wants them to show him. Sometimes they deliver and sometimes they don’t, but you don’t get to fourth in the Premiership League by only scraping lucky wins and draws, especially when you’ve got £900 billion worth of talent from 862 different countries in the squad, even though not one of them was born in the USA.
Anfield is the destination today for live and let die game against Liverpool. As the players leave the changing room, they’ll all see the famous “This Is Anfield” sign which was placed there to remind the not-so-smart players where they were. They’re in the jungle, baby, they’re gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Prediction: Mum to stop skipping my ipod for five minutes to let me concentrate. Yeah, Mum: you. After celebrating the great news that Old Man Carrick has a place to sleep for another year, he will come out and marshall the midfield in an unchanged side from the one that beat Spurs so convincingly last week. However, Vangle may make some changes from the unchanged side from the one that beat Spurs so convincingly last week, and this will have two effects: 1) people will moan that he’s made some changes from the unchanged side that beat Spurs so convincingly last week, and B) I’ll get my word count to a respectable figure. Rooney to continue his “knock-out” form (note to self: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “knockout”) by scoring two goals, and young Ashley Young to get the third in a comprehensive 3-0 victory by a United side that’s either unchanged from the one that beat Spurs so convincingly last week or has had some changes made from the unchanged side that beat Spurs so convincingly last week. 1-0 Liverpool.
Prediction: Your face.
I still can’t get my head around these 1330 kick-offs. It’s hard enough comprehendering the logistics of time-travelling back to 1500 every Saturday. But at least the FA handbook explains why: so racism and all that is still cool. And also because they got a new customer introductory discount back in 1900 (I can’t be bothered to make up exactly why they ended up with 1500. Let’s all just accept it and move on). But there’s nothing highlighting the benefits of 1330. According to Wikipedia “Year 1330 (MCCCXXX) was a common year starting on Monday” A common year? Aren’t all years as common as each other? I’ve obviously, unwittingly, stumbled across some government conspiracy x Waco to the power of Gulf of Tonkin. I only have one pencil (that I share with Benno and Tom) in this dark cellar, but I’ll fashion something magical using my inner face space, time travel back to 1330, and get to the bottom of this…
Prediction: You stopped reading this a long time ago. 2-3 cos that’s what Liverpool Rob said, and he’s watched more United games than I have. But I’m taller and have more grown up facial hair.
Update: I made a pencil. Its time travelling capabilities seem limited.