United vs. Arsenal
(@Benglorious)
Well, look who it is! Howdy pardners. Y’all ready for the rootinest, tootinest, wildest show in the West? Course ya are. Shame it’s United then.
Prediction: Dat Guy Welbz to run rings around our midfield, broken foot and all. HMS Belfast to run rings around our midfield. Fuck it – Jupiter to run rings around our midfield. 4-1 United.
M
(@tom_mcghee)
The Joker actually said ‘this town needs an enema’ (Jack Nicholson, 1989). Now whilst this doesn’t make much sense as an opening sentence I cannot and will not abide Brett getting Batman wrong – I admire Brett for a number of reason (height) but when you have to resort to paraphrasing super-villains you know Mourinho has gone too far. Another point that backs this up is the abject, joyless football and his inability to change, evolve or get along with anyone for more than 3 minutes. Which is hardly Batman’s fault.
As for Arsenal: Fuck off. If you don’t have the decency to appoint a two-bit clown and then watch your club spiral downwards into a sagging mass of broken dreams and also cunts being cunts, are you even doing football right? Amateurs. Fucking amateurs.
Ant-Man and a Wasp (2018)
If you like films where the hero is both bigger and smaller than usual and also has a sidekick that can fly then this is the film for you (it has both of these). Weird lack of ants.
Prediction: Arsenal to probably win because when I’ve watched them recently they seem to know what they’re doing can only see this as a huge advantage. 2-1 Arsenal,
M
(@bifurcated_utd)
As The Joker famously said “This town needs an Emery!”
Another theory I have is that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will be the next Arsenal Manager, based on this complex algorithm: Arsene = Arsenal; Emery = Emirates.
Prediction: Whatever happens, everyone on Twitter will be extremely happy. 0-0 United.
