All those 0-0 predictions I’ve made this season were just a little joke. Except nobody’s laughing anymore. A 0-0 today would be like that one-minute-to-midnight-phonecall-from-the-Governor-to-the-Warden-who-is-stood-by-the-phone-in-the-execution-chamber-but-as-a-metaphor-for-Vangle’s-job-security-not-his-actual-life-hanging-in-the-balance-I-don’t-know-when-to-stop-with-the-hyphens-I’m-gonna-risk-it-with-a-full-stop. Imagine needing a landline as a lifeline lol. I’ve forgotten my point.
Prediction: Vangle to STOKE the fires that have long lain dormant in this United side. Rooney to be re-BOURNEmouth as the passionate goal machine who used to be able to get the whole country on its feet. The whole team will give no quarter against Chelsea NORwich expect any. Another defeat for Vangle will surely not keep the WOLFsburg from the doors of Old Trafford and our long-suffering manager will soon be out on his ARSEnal. 0-0 United.
Can’t do words today lads. Hold your tears.
I can’t do words now lads cos holding tears.