United vs Crystal Palace

Crystal_Palace_General_view_from_Water_Temple

Benno (@Benglorious):

The Crystal Palace was a cast-iron and plate-glass building originally erected in Hyde Park, London, England, to house the Great Exhibition of 1851.  More than 14,000 exhibitors from around the world gathered in the Palace’s 990,000 square feet of exhibition space to display examples of the latest technology developed in the Industrial Revolution.  Designed by Sir Joseph Paxton, the Great Exhibition building was 1,851 feet  long, with an interior height of 128 feet.  Because of the recent invention of the cast plate glass method in 1848, which allowed for large sheets of cheap but strong glass, it was at the time the largest amount of glass ever seen in a building and astonished visitors with its clear walls and ceilings that did not require interior lights, thus a “Crystal Palace”.

After the Great Exhibition, many plans for the structure’s future were put forward, including relocating it to various other London boroughs and even other countries.  In 1854, after a detailed proposal from local chicken merchant and staunch war advocate Ian “Wrighty” Wright, it was unanimously decided that the best way forward was to repurpose the building as a sports stadium and Crystal Palace Football Club was formed.  “Palace” were not a very successful team to begin with.  This was mainly due them them having to wait nearly one hundred and forty years for the invention of proper football, beginning with the 1992/1993 season.

It soon became apparent that having a football stadium built out of glass was, whilst magnificent-looking, a terrible idea.  Palace striker Chris Armstrong was very nearly responsible for the grisly deaths of hundreds of people every home game after his wayward shots caused the great sheets of glass to shatter and cascade down amongst the panicked fans.  The Premier League had no choice but to relegate Palace at the end of that season, citing “reckless endangerment of the public….astronomical cost of Windex….unsuitability of prize-winning vegetables grown on the touchlines”.  The “Eagles” quickly found a new base of operations, but were told that only a stadium would be suitable if they wished to remain in the Football League.  Eventually, they settled into Selhurst Park and remain there to this day where they are currently enjoying their best ever season in the Premier League.  [citation needed]

 

Prediction:  Palace will make it tough for Vangle’s boys, but United are coming off the back of ten straight wins in the league and will not want to break their streak.  Falcao may or may not play.  If he does, he may score, but if he doesn’t, there’s a strong chance he won’t.  Luckily, Rooney is in the form of his life so United will have no problem finding the net several times.  Van Persie will be continuing his recent run of goals, meaning Palace will be overwhelmed by halftime and United will not have to worry about their lack of strength at the back with a comfortable three-goal lead with ten minutes to go.  1-0 Palace.

 

This week’s hero worshipee is Mr Robin Van Persie.  Robin loves nothing more than walks on the beach, large Fantas (no ice) and spending his free time organising his iTunes library.

Manchester United's Robin van Persie reacts after losing to Newcastle United in their English Premier League soccer match at Old Trafford in Manchester

 

.

Tom (@Tom_McGhee):

Still disgusted that they don’t actually live in a Crystal Palace. Its not like they couldn’t justify building one so its either laziness or they think they’re too cool for it. That said, huge fan of Dracula and Warnock is the Gary Oldman we all wanted so I guess it evens out. Hope no-one slips over. Also hope Benno’s written more.

Prediction: 8-2 United, Falcao to score 6 goals under his new guise Kickpuncher (his goal-getting leg has been replaced by bionics and his kicks have the power of 100 punches).

 

Brett:

More of this please:

High and Dry: Warnock can’t hide his disappointment at being left hanging by a bottle of water two weeks ago.

Well, Well, Well: Bottle of water leaves Warnock hanging for the second time a week later.

 Prediction: More of that.

Comments are closed.

More 'Predictions'

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

United vs. West Brom

United vs. West Brom

More 'Pregame'

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

Brighton vs. United

Brighton vs. United

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

United vs. West Brom

United vs. West Brom

Archive