United vs. Crystal Palace

MatiCA

 @Benglorious)

Crystal Palace have never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. Their new manager, Roy Hodgson, has never won at Old Trafford in the Premiership League. This season, United have won all three games at Old Trafford in the Premiership League, scoring ten goals. Palace haven’t scored a single goal this season in the Premiership League, and have set the record for the worst ever recorded start. Nailed on 1-0 Palace.

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Prediction: Lukaku to ignore his physio’s advice and enter the cave. Poor metaphor ensues. 4-0 United despite what I said earlier.

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2017-02-10 23.14.32 (@tom_mcghee)

Formed in 1982 after the Crystal was broken, Palace are evil, always trying to stop the last remaining Gelfling help the peaceful Mystics from fixing said Crystal that once provided balance to the universe. They haven’t won a game all season.

The Dark Crystal (1982)

Jen – the last surviving Gelfling OR IS HE – is raised by the noble Mystics (hippies) and must find the lost shard of the Dark Crystal, a powerful jem that once provided balance to the universe. Jen believes he can somehow fuse this shard back onto the crystal (showing he knows nothing about crystals imho) and bring peace back to his world. He’s right (proving the creative team knew nothing about crystals). He also finds a girlfriend, foreshadowed by my great ‘OR IS HE’ line, earlier. That aside, pretty good.

 

Prediction: Brett to be kicked out of editing by me, me to laugh a lot.  Roy Hodgson.

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(@bifurcated_utd)

Having returned from Poland and just written all the game reviews from when I was away  – cos them two parasites are so “busy” wasting all of our lives all day on twitter to waste all of our lives on the website they are paid handsomely to actually waste all of our lives on – I have run out of a joke.*

*See my great ‘sick in a car park’ in Poland a joke on our review bit. *Content Warning – contains extremely great a joke*

Prediction: Tom to laugh a lot for kicking me out of editing, but the joke to be on him cos he’s for tools. 0-0 United.

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