United vs. Southampton

(@Benglorious)

I can imagine all the left-backs in the country breathing a collective sigh of relief today, safe in the knowledge that, with the news of Valencia’s contract not being renewed, they can look forward to no ball-shaped bruises on their shins. But seriously, he’s bad. As are Southampton.

Prediction: Goals for the two fit players (decided via tombola in the cafeteria) give United yet another victory under Ole. Just how many victories has been lost to the annals of time. It’s a lot. 0-0 United.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Haven’t heard from Brett since the Palace game, I hope he isn’t stuck on a gate or soaked wet through and hating his life or eating a banana tasting sandwich/dead in a ditch (I spoke to Benno last night so I know he’s ok)

Shame about the Tony V news, real shame. Massive player in his day, massive thighs. Massive, manly thighs. The kind of thighs you’d want wrapped around you as you wrestled greco-roman style, his back like a barrel of snakes.

I just hope it’s a good friendly game and everyone enjoys themselves.

The Man in the High Castle (season one, some time in the past I’m not looking it up)

Watched entire season one, still no sign of said man or even his castle. sham imho.

Prediction: 3-0, Brett to pretend he has a girlfriend yeah Brett she lives in Canada yeah

MM

(@bifurcated_utd)

I have done mine before the Crystal Palace game, cos I am currently up a big hill somewhere in the Lake District, probably lost, or splitting my trousers on a gate I am no longer flexible enough to actually climb over, or piss wet through and cold and hating my life, or sat down on a rock eating a sandwich that taste likes banana cos they were in the same packed lunch box, like the middle-aged man you all deserve.

Prediction: I won’t be up a hill, cos I will have fucked the idea off, found a pub to watch the football and will have insisted that as the man in this relationship, what I say goes. Hopefully, she won’t read this. 0 – 0 United.