It’s only the third fucking game of the fucking season and I’m already fucking done with fucking football. Unless they bring back VAR and Russians who can literally run forever, I’m switching to rugby. And not the good one.
Prediction: Hopes to be dashed quite expertly yet again. 0-0 United.
‘Lads, it’s Spurs’ used to be the lightsaber of football words i.e. from a more civilised age when things were great and we won everything always – now it is the Jay from Inbetweeners of football i.e. old and tired and makes me want to kill, especially when I see him do that betting advert where he walks off after his budget Iron Man suit falls apart but also in truth any time i see or hear him. Fuck that guy imho.
I have zero hopes or expectations for tonight because we lost to Brighton last week and were rubbish. Hope this helps.
Jumanji 2: This time it’s Jumanji (2018)
Wholesome family fun. That aside, pretty good.
Prediction: Me to be abso indifferent all day only to get massively wound up whilst watching, despite claiming to not care at all in this preview. 4-0 Spurs, Mino has a cake or 7.
I care so much about this game that I’m watching it down the pub instead of writing my preview. I hope this doesn’t backfire on me.
Prediction: My herpes to flare up as soon as we take the lead, followed by me shitting my actual pants as Spurs equalise, before everyone in the pub points and laughs at my tiny wiener when Spurs score the winner. 0-0 United.