The backdrop to the main event of Martin Keown’s co-commentary was a match played between two teams miles apart.
220.1 miles according to Google, if you travel via the M5 and M6. 269.1 miles via the A303. The train-line, though more direct, takes a little longer as has to take into account stations along the way. Which is something that travelling by car never does. Are we supposed to piss our pants just so we can adhere to the strict timings dictated to us by a popular search engineers website?! This reporter says yes.
Here’s 5 things we learned:
1. Martin Keown really doesn’t like Alexis Sanchez.
2. Martin known is a monkey who has been strategically shaved and dressed up.
3. Darmian’s facial hair is upsetting.
4. I like how Sanchez is good because he tries things and gives the ball away.
5. I like how Mkhitaryan is bad because he tries things and gives the ball away.
6. I like how Martin Keown is bad because he’s a cunty bell flap.