Norwich 0 – 1 United

By the time you read this Manchester City and Arsenal will have drawn 2-2, handing us an opportunity to – despite our best efforts – qualify for next season’s Champion’s League. Imagine that.

Jose Mourinho has already said that if this happens he will manage every game, in the 2016/17 Premier League season, in just his thong.

The goal was all about Rooney.

The result was all about Norwich.

The future was all about the present.

 

Here’s another fantastic 5 things us learn:

1. Didn’t so much learn as re-learn how bad we are as a football team. My suspicions were first aroused literally months ago when results and performances were awful, and they’ve continued to grow apace ever since (because of more awful results and performances). Although I do think it’s good that no-one at the club seems to be saying anything so we carry to limp on listlessly and without any seeming sense of direction or purpose, slowly chipping away at any cache the United name still has in terms of attracting top names. Well, I meant ‘bad’.

*continue not carry. Carry to limp on? Good English, English, put the marijuana cigarette down.

2) Winter Soldier is badass.

94) I like how, in spite of Rooney’s best effort to fuck it up, Norwich felt sorry for us and gave us a goal worthy of any blog.

92) *hugs*

3. We should plan to assassinate LVG. Not out loud or in writing. Obvs.

90) That would be a terrible thing to do.

88) *winks*

80) Stupid WhatsApp turning my asterisks into bold. I thought the Nazis were defeated?

4. They were. By Indiana Jones.

Y2K) Love that Aqua song.

5. That’s French for Water.

6. And a colour. That’s it though.

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