Not A Rant: I miss proper diving.

I don’t use the “Rant” category section of the site much, in part because I’m not entirely comfortable with the word, but whatever, here goes, people get NHS beds quicker than I get to the point sometimes, if I ever do …

.

In the last four or five games I’ve watched on as at least three thirds of the incidents, where players have “come together” on the pitch, have resulted in an embarrassing display of creative simulation – or as it used to be referred to as, cheating.

*Diving claxon*

It’s not just in the case of aggressive “comings together”, where it seems more commonly accepted, but you see it in the simplest of block tackles or merest of accidental boob grazes. Players exaggerating movement, conjuring up a “second movement”, or grimacing whilst clasping an apparently shattered appendage, with no other intention but to prosper through misleading the match officials, and us lot, still watching, in spite of all the detritus they force us to wade through and swallow.

*Diving claxon*

We’ve come a long way since we could point our collective finger at baddies like David Ginola or Rivaldo and ridicule them, even laugh. I miss the simple joy of those days *cue montage of those days – oh wait the footage shows me being pretty pissed off then too*

*Diving claxon*

Anyway, it’s damned near all players from all the Premier League clubs, with the only notable exception to my knowledge being Antonio Valencia (I’m sure other clubs have their exceptions too). What’s worse – YES, IT GETS WORSE! – is how the problem has been developed through those who actively look out for, orchestrate and manipulate opportunities to dive. Ashley Young, as far as I’m aware, remains amongst his contemporaries, chief protagonist of this dark art. He’s like a human butterfly knife with fishing hook toes and tendrils for legs.

*You’ve broke the claxon*

It’s endemic. There is no mandate that any governing body could issue that would address this. They’ve created this problem through their inability to officiate the game, or empower others to do so correctly.

It started out funny, now the joke’s wearing thin.  Hopefully it’s true, that if you eat sh*t for long enough you’ll eventually develop a taste for it. If not I will be putting my foot through something appropriate and sending someone appropriate the bill.

Comments are closed.

More 'Rants'

Not A Rant: A Little More Conversation.

Not A Rant: A Little More Conversation.

Not a Rant: Engage

Not a Rant: Engage

Not A Rant: Repetition, I repeat, repetition...

Not A Rant: Repetition, I repeat, repetition…

Not A Rant: Hillsborough Report

Not A Rant: Hillsborough Report

Not A Rant: My Real Pet Hate: Pet Hates

Not A Rant: My Real Pet Hate: Pet Hates

Not A Rant: The Sun in 'exactly the f*ckwitted sort of thing The Sun do' Shocker

Not A Rant: The Sun in ‘exactly the f*ckwitted sort of thing The Sun do’ Shocker

Not A Rant: A Commentator Prefacing A Statement With “Should Have”...

Not A Rant: A Commentator Prefacing A Statement With “Should Have”…

Not A Rant: I miss proper diving.

Not A Rant: I miss proper diving.

Not A Rant: On the Suarez ban.

Not A Rant: On the Suarez ban.