United 0 – 1 Southampton

Well, after Benno got the score right (IN YOUR FACE HAYTERZ!) – which was step one of our seven step plan for World domination – he took his winnings from the beters and instead of investing in step two, he took the opportunity to leave Bifurcated.

There was a montage, then he spent all his money on penny whistles, moonpies and goofballs … and the rest he wasted. Then he came back and there was another montage. He still needs to apologise. And we all learned a valuable lesson. If I know these guys that lesson will be long forgotten by next week’s episode … with hi- wait for it -LARIOUS consequences.

Thought for the day: What if this philosophy schtick is all a bit emporersnewclothesy and we’ve got front row seats to the plastic pantomime?

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FAC SF United 2 - 1 Tottenham Spurs

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