United 3 – 0 Stoke

With heavy heart we bid a fond farewell and wave a tear-stained hanky to the goalless first half feats of yesteryear.

Hoping this is merely a blip tbh.

Jesse-dawg, Martial-dawg, and Roon-dawg proved themselves to be the swashbuckliest of swasherers, with net-bulging scorings that could shiver the timbers of the mightiest haunted pirate tree on the seven seas.

Too soon.

 

 

Speaking of seven seas … here’s 5 things three seas took note of, to ensure your learnings, for the test withunder laboratory conditions, at season’s end:

1 for the money and the free rides) if you kick the ball thing in the net thing without infringing any of Association Football’s rules, you get what’s known as a “goal”.

2 for the lie you denied) if you do that three times in one “match”, that counts as three “goals”.

3 for the calls you been making) if their opponents don’t get as many “goals” as your team does, your team is credited with a “win”.

4 for the times you’ve been faking) We’re gonna win the league.

All ri5e) I liked it when we won.

The jury will deci6e) If your team play their opponents, who are they playing?

I res7 my case) Idiot.

Comments are closed.

More 'Postgame'

FAC: Chelsea 0 - 2 United

FAC: Chelsea 0 – 2 United

CL: United 0 - 2 PSG

CL: United 0 – 2 PSG

Fulham 0 - 3 United

Fulham 0 – 3 United

Leicester 0 - 1 United

Leicester 0 – 1 United

United 2 - 2 Burnley

United 2 – 2 Burnley

FAC: Arsenal 1 - 3 United

FAC: Arsenal 1 – 3 United

United 2 - 1 Brighton

United 2 – 1 Brighton

Tottenham 0 - 1 United

Tottenham 0 – 1 United

FAC: United 2 - 0 Reading

FAC: United 2 – 0 Reading

More 'Reaction'

FAC: Chelsea 0 - 2 United

FAC: Chelsea 0 – 2 United

CL: United 0 - 2 PSG

CL: United 0 – 2 PSG

Fulham 0 - 3 United

Fulham 0 – 3 United

Leicester 0 - 1 United

Leicester 0 – 1 United

United 2 - 2 Burnley

United 2 – 2 Burnley

FAC: Arsenal 1 - 3 United

FAC: Arsenal 1 – 3 United

United 2 - 1 Brighton

United 2 – 1 Brighton

Tottenham 0 - 1 United

Tottenham 0 – 1 United

FAC: United 2 - 0 Reading

FAC: United 2 – 0 Reading

Archive