United 3 – 1 Bournemouth

Now we’re Twitterfamousers you’d think we’d be too Johnny Big Boots to learn. And you’d be right tbf. Who needs to learn anything when you’re hobnobbing with the Twitterati; drinking pre-mixed Bucks Fizz from posh glasses?!

Tell your 3 RT and 5 Like faces to suck on your disappointment.

Bite us.

But we’re legally obligated to learn (part of the conditions of our bail: after the incident with the fire and the “innocent” orphans), and so…

 

Here’s five things us learned aside from how good us are at Twitter:

1) I didn’t watch it

1) Neither did I.

1) Nor me.

1) Wait. How many of us is there again? Not counting the ones who us don’t really count…

1) Check. Mate.

2) Shots on goal really paid off.

3) LVG is a cupboard. And not even a good IKEA one or that, more like a cheap knockoff or one your Mum lets you have when you move out. Because it’s rubbish and she hates you.

4)┬áNot sure eating Hobnob biscuits while reading Miguel Delaney’s tweets is what that means tbqfhwy. And next time don’t use my readers please, the little screw from the arm is now missing.

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