Bournemouth

United 4 - 1 Bournemouth

United 4 – 1 Bournemouth

Starting to think sacking Mourinho was a good idea after all. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Pretty sure Rashford’s mum and dad are Maradona and Pele 2. Pele definitely not the dad 3. lol because of his limp member 4. lol

United vs. Bournemouth

United vs. Bournemouth

    (@Benglorious) There’s nothing better than a top of the table six-pointer the day before New Year’s Eve. Except for smart water. That shit is tight. Prediction: Goals for all the players who pooped in Jose’s kettle at the Lowry. 11-0 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) I am out of the office until Jan 4th. Please […]

Bournemouth 1 - 2 United

Bournemouth 1 – 2 United

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth 0 - 2 United

Bournemouth 0 – 2 United

We learned nothing. That doesn’t count.

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

(@Benglorious) I am on holiday so suck your disappointment right on its dick. Prediction: Me to ruin my holiday for me (I’m obvs on holiday alone cos me) by constantly checking my phone to see what great a jokes Brett is tweeting tonight. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) What words? Are we playing tonight? On a […]

United 1 - 0 Bournemouth

United 1 – 0 Bournemouth

1-0 to United. It’s just like the days of Eric. It isn’t. 5 things we learned: 1. Illegal streams leave a lot to be desired. 2. No Last Jedi spoilers McGhee I swear to God I’ll fuck you up. 3. Lips, sealed. But I was shocked to see Han return as a force ghost. 4. […]

United vs. Bournemouth

United vs. Bournemouth

  (@Benglorious) CORAL.  It’s not televised. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Are we on telly tonight? Can’t see it anywhere call bullshit. Blue Planet. It’s why we dressed you as a fish for 6 weeks. Haha I didn’t tell you to do it for the HALIBUT! Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) What programme did […]

United 1 - 1 Bournemouth

United 1 – 1 Bournemouth

At Bifurcated we have been lobbying for a long time with the footballerers: it’s such a shame these results aren’t recorded in a table or league format, because by my calculations we’d be sitting proud in 6th place, and the whole world would be saying something about it every day of the week, and every […]

United vs. Bournemouth

United vs. Bournemouth

(@Benglorious) Spent so much time making the dankest of memes that I can’t do a preview. What a time to be alive. m Luke Shaw match stats: Interceptions – 6 Tackles – 14 Headed clearances – 3 Take-ons – 11 Dribbles – 29 Pass completion – 97% Assists – 2 Goals – 2 Next game […]

Bournemouth 1 - 3 United

Bournemouth 1 – 3 United

Bournemouth were left speechless – GEDDIT?! cos mouth – as Juan Marta – GEDDIT?! cos sub – Wane Rooney – GEDDIT?! cos last 21 years – and Zlatan Ibrahitthenets – GEDDIT?! cos goals – hit them for six divided by two – GEDDIT?! cos maths and idiom*. If the English Premier League stopped right now […]

Bournemouth vs. United

Bournemouth vs. United

 Benno (@Benglorious) Huzzah, the football’s back. It’s been sorely missed what with the lack of an international tournament during the summer as well as no preseason friendlies, plus the Olympics not recognising it as a sport. United have bought a new manager this summer, who in turn has bought some new players, who in turn have […]

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