Champions League

UCL: United 0 - 0 Valencia

UCL: United 0 – 0 Valencia

Re-building Fortress OT one brick at a time.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. 0 2. 0

CL: Young Boys 0 - 3 United

CL: Young Boys 0 – 3 United

United’s Champions’ League campaign got off to a start as the first game was played of United’s Champions’ League campaign at the start of the Champions’ League campaign.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Plastic pitches get stitches 2. Heard the goals were good 3. Love that Shaman song 4. Love how that a […]

FAC Final: United 0 - 1 Chelsea

FAC Final: United 0 – 1 Chelsea

Can’t wait to watch Liverpool collect the Champions League title, to cap another wonderful week in the club’s recent history. Here’s 5 things we learned, apart from that Phil Jones is a legend: 1. I think I preferred it when ferguson was in charge. 2. I actually enjoyed the Royal Wedding more and I didn’t […]

CL: United (1) 1 - 2 (2) Sevilla

CL: United (1) 1 – 2 (2) Sevilla

Brett is in Poland so he can’t make us learn nothing.

CL: United (0) vs. (0) Sevilla

CL: United (0) vs. (0) Sevilla

(@Benglorious) We can legit just copy and paste last week’s preview while Brett is in Poland: Brett is in Poland so we have no natural leader or a jokes. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) As above. That aside, pretty good. Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) I’m in Poland. In minus 26 temperatures. Survival is my priority. […]

CL: Sevilla vs. United

CL: Sevilla vs. United

(@Benglorious) No idea how Sevilla got to play in the Champions League after being relegated last season, but that Agbonlahor is a hell of a player. Prediction: Hawkeye to actually draw a straight line. Black Widow to confiscate his crayons. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I cannot do words as I am too busy watching the […]

United 2 - 1 CSKA Moscow

United 2 – 1 CSKA Moscow

5 things we learned: 1. Let’s all agree we’re probably the real heroes.

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

  (@Benglorious) Not doing words because it makes us win. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Not doing words out of respect for arsenal actually winning our last game, despite actually losing. Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Not doing words our of respect for ToActually, yeah cos of the winning thing. Prediction: 0-0 United.

CL: Basel 1 - 0 United

CL: Basel 1 – 0 United

Last minute goals are for tools. We’ve always said that. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. If the second half was anything like the first half it must’ve been an awful match. 2. I didn’t watch the second half. 3. I hope that implication was clear. 4. Because the first half was terrible. 5. What […]

CL: Basel vs. United

CL: Basel vs. United

(@Benglorious) The last thing standing between us and qualification for the knockout stages of the Champions League is a team called Basel, or, as our American cousins say, Ahreggano. Jokes, I don’t have an American cousin. If I did, he or she would have very easy access to firearms but have to wait until they […]

CL: United 2 - 0 Benfica

CL: United 2 – 0 Benfica

Daley Blind > Anthony Martial > Romelu Lukaku > Jose Mourinho > Daley Blind. Here’s 5 things we learned about football: 1. Equality is good, but kids shouldn’t be professional goalkeepers. 2. Unless they play for anyone else. 3.The hidden blade is back, baby, and it’s fucking siiiiiiiiick. 4. deli alley’s goals were good.

CL: Benfica 0 - 1 United

CL: Benfica 0 – 1 United

What a game. Here’s 5 things we learned that we have never learned previously, but don’t check any of the previous reviews as that might compromise our special relationship: 1. Rashford is the only acceptable proof of God’s existence. 2. That keeper is the only person in the world who is worse at his job […]

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