Champions League

United 2 - 1 CSKA Moscow

United 2 – 1 CSKA Moscow

5 things we learned: 1. Let’s all agree we’re probably the real heroes.

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

CL: United vs. CSKA Moscow

  (@Benglorious) Not doing words because it makes us win. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Not doing words out of respect for arsenal actually winning our last game, despite actually losing. Prediction: 0-0 United   m (@bifurcated_utd) Not doing words our of respect for ToActually, yeah cos of the winning thing. Prediction: 0-0 United.

CL: Basel 1 - 0 United

CL: Basel 1 – 0 United

Last minute goals are for tools. We’ve always said that. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. If the second half was anything like the first half it must’ve been an awful match. 2. I didn’t watch the second half. 3. I hope that implication was clear. 4. Because the first half was terrible. 5. What […]

CL: Basel vs. United

CL: Basel vs. United

(@Benglorious) The last thing standing between us and qualification for the knockout stages of the Champions League is a team called Basel, or, as our American cousins say, Ahreggano. Jokes, I don’t have an American cousin. If I did, he or she would have very easy access to firearms but have to wait until they […]

CL: United 2 - 0 Benfica

CL: United 2 – 0 Benfica

Daley Blind > Anthony Martial > Romelu Lukaku > Jose Mourinho > Daley Blind. Here’s 5 things we learned about football: 1. Equality is good, but kids shouldn’t be professional goalkeepers. 2. Unless they play for anyone else. 3.The hidden blade is back, baby, and it’s fucking siiiiiiiiick. 4. deli alley’s goals were good.

CL: Benfica 0 - 1 United

CL: Benfica 0 – 1 United

What a game. Here’s 5 things we learned that we have never learned previously, but don’t check any of the previous reviews as that might compromise our special relationship: 1. Rashford is the only acceptable proof of God’s existence. 2. That keeper is the only person in the world who is worse at his job […]

CL: Benfica vs. United

CL: Benfica vs. United

 @Benglorious) After the weekend’s disappointing game against Liverpool in the mediocrity of a competition that is the Premier League, tonight is a welcome return to the unrivalled magnificence of the UEFA Champions League European Cup Sponsored By Gazprom. Mourinho rested a good number of his squad ahead of this match, with many of them seen […]

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 - 4 (FOUR) United

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 – 4 (FOUR) United

5 things innit: 1. Had a look and nobody had done owt so i didn’t either. Cool story bro. 2. Same. 3. Oh.

CL: CSKA Moscow vs. United

CL: CSKA Moscow vs. United

 @Benglorious) Oh.  (@tom_mcghee) Had a look and nobody had done owt so I didn’t either. Cool story bro.   (@bifurcated_utd) Same.

CL: United 3 (NOT FOUR) - 0 FC Basel

CL: United 3 (NOT FOUR) – 0 FC Basel

5 things we learned: 1. We’re lazy cunts.  

CL: United vs. FC Basel

CL: United vs. FC Basel

Palace 1 - 2 United

Palace 1 – 2 United

United reaffirmed their not drawing all the games ever credentials with a not a draw that takes them within a very tall giant’s breath of Chelsea at the top of the table, and a very, very, very tall man who failed to get his giant’s licence on a technicality’s breath of the Champions League places. […]

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