Champions League

CL: United vs CSKA Moscow

CL: United vs CSKA Moscow

 Benno (@Benglorious) Rather cleverly, Brett has put a video in his bit that won’t play on my computer so I can’t ruin/steal his joke. This makes me think he’s got an adult to help him which is clearly against the rules that I just thought of. I also can’t ruin/steal Tom’s jokes because I have […]

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 -1 United

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 -1 United

Mar Seal used his head, shoulders, knees and toes, apart from his shoulders and toes and with a bit of one of his hands to influence the game at both ends, like in the Lighthouse Family’s remix of the classic song from 80s birthday parties. If you didn’t know we were Maverick writerers, you’d think […]

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

  Benno (@Benglorious) Playing a game in the Championship League of Europe is always good. Playing in all the games in the Championship League of Europe is even gooder, especially if you win the last one. That’s when you get a nice trophy and all the other teams have to bow when they see you and […]

CL: United 2 – 1 VFL Wolfsburg

Pensmith John Murder did what he did best by smithing a pen to bring us back into it. And then Chris Smallholding did what he does worst in ‘terrorising’ the Wolvesburg defence and grabbing the golden goal to lift the Europe Championship. For now. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1) Roondog is getting really good […]

CL: PSV 2 - 1 United

CL: PSV 2 – 1 United

5 things we learnt watching United’s Champions League defeat: 1. Nobody likes Hector Moreno. 2. Everybody likes Luke Shaw. 3. Football clubs are the worst clubs. They cost loads to get in and you have to sing your own songs. At least you can get in wearing trainers. 4. Anthony Martial has a melting point […]

CL: Bayern 3 (4) - (2) 1 United

CL: Bayern 3 (4) – (2) 1 United

Unlike Fergie, Moyes didn’t have the luxury of a Michael Owen on the bench in the big Champions’ League game, or even a Berba to leave out completely … and so the result in the end was inevitable. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Hey?! Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Hey?! *note to self: try mixing […]

CL: Bayern Munich (1) vs (1) United

CL: Bayern Munich (1) vs (1) United

  Ben (Benglorious): It’s here at last.  The big one I’ve been waiting for.  It’s been over a week since I last glued my eyes to something of such importance and intensity.  In the meantime, I’ve had to settle for the non-match of a comfortable win against one of the other Uniteds (I forget which). […]

CL: United 1 – 1 Bayern Munich

    Tom (@Tom_McGhee): Worst. European. Game. Ever Cowardly tactics, betraying the United tradition. Stone-Age formation. £300K a week for Rooney? Disgraceful gamesmanship. Not that warm. . Ben (Benglorious): Best. European. Game. Ever!!! The tactics were spot on, befitting our underdog status and getting us a tidy result. Moyes’ formation choice was excellent, forcing the […]

CL: United vs Bayern Munich

CL: United vs Bayern Munich

Ben (Benglorious): Champions League quarter finals, eh?  Whodathunkit after the season we’ve had, eh?  Hang on…  Why are they called ‘quarter finals’ anyway?  Do the matches only last twenty-two and a half minutes or are we only allowed two and three-quarter players on the pitch?  I suppose nobody will ever know. I did some research […]

CL: United (3) 3 - 0 (2) Olympiacos

CL: United (3) 3 – 0 (2) Olympiacos

Bifurcated David texted me at the end of the first half to say: That’s my team. *Yeah, no kisses again. Noted.

CL: United (0) vs Olympiacos (2)

Ben (Benglorious): Here we are at last.  The defining match of our pitiful season, 2-0 down to arguably the weakest team left in the Champions League.  I say “arguably” simply because that’s the done thing and I can’t bring myself to say that actually we’re the weakest team left.  Unarguably. We all know Moyes won’t […]

CL: Olympiacos vs United

CL: Olympiacos vs United

. Ben (Benglorious): olimpyacos olympiacos oleempeeyakkos olimpiakos olimpiakos man united olympiacos champions league olympiyakos football olimpeackos fixtures how do you spell olimpiakos [phone rings: *sighs* Yes, Mother?……  Well who else always bloody calls me when I’m doing my words?……  Sorry for snapping, the computer’s playing up……  It ISN’T the Google?!  FFS.  Well how do you…….  O……  L……  Y…… […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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