Champions League

Palace 1 - 2 United

Palace 1 – 2 United

United reaffirmed their not drawing all the games ever credentials with a not a draw that takes them within a very tall giant’s breath of Chelsea at the top of the table, and a very, very, very tall man who failed to get his giant’s licence on a technicality’s breath of the Champions League places. […]

Wolfsburg 3 – 2 United

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA (1/-1)   Here’s five things we learned from Europa League qualification: Swan) We couldn’t keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. Twit twoo) Louis van Gaal is a fraud. When I mispronounce stuff I just get laughed at but he seems to have made it into a whole career. Tree-creeper) The whole […]

United 0 – 0 PSV

No goals all means we’re one step closer to the promised land. Can’t wait to get there. Don’t get us wrong, we’re really enjoying the journey and all. Lots. Really. Really, really enjoying it. To the max. And back. Lots. Yep. Here’s 5 things we’ve learned this week: 1ne) Learning is as learning does. 2wo) Life […]

United vs PSV

United vs PSV

 Benno (@Benglorious) Refusing to do a preview after Tom smashed it last game. Let’s see him do it again. m Opposition summary: PSV do football. Prediction:  I don’t have a point to forget. 0-0 United.    Tom (@tom_mcghee) Chapter 2 McGhee opened his eyes cautiously; despite being the sole passenger on Air Force One, a lifetime at […]

CL: United 1 - 0 CSKA Moscow

CL: United 1 – 0 CSKA Moscow

Yadda blah etc…   Here’s 5 things we learned: d) Even if you hate something with an unbridled passion, it will sometimes score an unmarked header from 5 yards out.  

CL: United vs CSKA Moscow

CL: United vs CSKA Moscow

 Benno (@Benglorious) Rather cleverly, Brett has put a video in his bit that won’t play on my computer so I can’t ruin/steal his joke. This makes me think he’s got an adult to help him which is clearly against the rules that I just thought of. I also can’t ruin/steal Tom’s jokes because I have […]

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 -1 United

CL: CSKA Moscow 1 -1 United

Mar Seal used his head, shoulders, knees and toes, apart from his shoulders and toes and with a bit of one of his hands to influence the game at both ends, like in the Lighthouse Family’s remix of the classic song from 80s birthday parties. If you didn’t know we were Maverick writerers, you’d think […]

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

CL: CSKA Moscow vs United

  Benno (@Benglorious) Playing a game in the Championship League of Europe is always good. Playing in all the games in the Championship League of Europe is even gooder, especially if you win the last one. That’s when you get a nice trophy and all the other teams have to bow when they see you and […]

CL: United 2 – 1 VFL Wolfsburg

Pensmith John Murder did what he did best by smithing a pen to bring us back into it. And then Chris Smallholding did what he does worst in ‘terrorising’ the Wolvesburg defence and grabbing the golden goal to lift the Europe Championship. For now. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1) Roondog is getting really good […]

CL: PSV 2 - 1 United

CL: PSV 2 – 1 United

5 things we learnt watching United’s Champions League defeat: 1. Nobody likes Hector Moreno. 2. Everybody likes Luke Shaw. 3. Football clubs are the worst clubs. They cost loads to get in and you have to sing your own songs. At least you can get in wearing trainers. 4. Anthony Martial has a melting point […]

CL: Bayern 3 (4) - (2) 1 United

CL: Bayern 3 (4) – (2) 1 United

Unlike Fergie, Moyes didn’t have the luxury of a Michael Owen on the bench in the big Champions’ League game, or even a Berba to leave out completely … and so the result in the end was inevitable. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Hey?! Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Hey?! *note to self: try mixing […]

CL: Bayern Munich (1) vs (1) United

CL: Bayern Munich (1) vs (1) United

  Ben (Benglorious): It’s here at last.  The big one I’ve been waiting for.  It’s been over a week since I last glued my eyes to something of such importance and intensity.  In the meantime, I’ve had to settle for the non-match of a comfortable win against one of the other Uniteds (I forget which). […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...