Bifurcated Manchester United » Clown shoes

Everton 4 – 0 United

Us — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 13:34:48 +0000

So glad we fucked of those preview words.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. Dedham Vale is definitely an area of natural beauty but I don’t know if it’s as outstanding as they claim.

2. Fuck you Manchester United fuck you in your stupid asses you are clownshoes you are moribund

3. Oooh check out who had a dictionary in their Easter Egg

EL Semi Final: United (2) 1 – 1 (1) Celta Vigo

Us — Fri, 12 May 2017 12:25:29 +0000

Despite our best efforts over the previous 75 games, we have finally (finally is another word for Fellaini) made it to the final (final is another word for Fellaini) of the Europa League.

United’s Europa League campaign = Derren Brown’s infamous Russian Roulette trick. But with us preferring the chamber was full of live rounds.

Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-De-De-De-De-Doo, De-De-Doo…

Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-De-De-De-De-Doo, De-De-Doo … it’s the final clown shoes.

Here’s 5 things we learned about our historic final (final is another word for Fellaini) jigsaw piece:

1. Best

2. Game

3. Ever

4. Agree to disagree.

5. WHY ARE WE SO BAD?

Manchester United Vs The Chelseas

Us — Sun, 16 Apr 2017 10:41:06 +0000

(@Benglorious)

Is Eddie Redmayne the new Hugh Grant or does he just need to speak up a bit? This reporter says ‘yes’. Luckily, the memory of every word he said too quietly in that film last night will soon be erased by the complete demolition of United by this season’s champions-elect, Chelsea. Was that a run-on sentence? Possibly. Is this a run-on sentence? No. Is this 150 words yet? Almost.

Prediction: Chelsea to demoralise Jommo so much with their victory that he ends up and that’s 150. 4-0 Chelsea.

(@tom_mcghee)

I fucking hate Chelsea.

Doctor Strange (2017)

Haven’t seen it. Fucking hippy.

Prediction: Probably a draw. Fucking hate those as well.

(@bifurcated_utd)

So much negativity this week from my co-clownshoes. And who can blame them. We’ve got as much chance of winning this game as Easter eggs have of surviving breakfast at the Rooney’s.

And I said “What about Breakfast at Rooney’s?”
She said “I think I remember the film. And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it”
And I said “No. It was just a football a joke, and you’re just a pawn in my game of lols.”
She said “Pathetic cunt. Go watch Rocky V. And cry. Again.”

Prediction: Me to watch Rocky V. And cry. Again. 0-0 United.