(@Benglorious)

If I get time, I’ll do the best Southampton joke there’s ever been. If I don’t get time, I’ll just mention Craig David.

Prediction: I may miss the start of the match so someone will have to fill me in. This is our most important match of the last seven days. Pogba was born to do it. What’s your flava? 0-0 United.

 (@tom_mcghee)

Tried to rename this section as the ‘Claudio Ranieri Tribute Edition’ but was shot down by fascists and scumbags (Brett). The fact this final is still being played is a slap in the face to all that’s decent (Claudio Ranieri) in football and only serves to highlight the ever-widening chasm between the haves and haven’ts (have nots) in our national game – if the spineless FA had any spine, they’d’ve rebadged it as ‘The Ranieri Final and thanks for winning the league that time’ but I guess modern football has no time for heroes.

We’re playing Southampton, a town famous for sinking the Titanic.

Claudio Ranieri (2017)

What a fairytale i.e. unbelievable. Born in 1951, he is a year younger than my dad. Has my dad ever won the league? No. Should he have? Yes. Good one, Dad. All my clothes now have his initials on (Claudio’s. I’m not weird) That aside, pretty good.

Prediction: Throw-ins. Few corners/goal kicks/freekicks. No pens. 2-0 United, Ibra brace/booked for revealing new Claudio Ranieri back tattoo.

(@bifurcated_utd)

I am completely behind the renaming of this this section the ‘Claudio Ranieri Tribute Edition’, and not to point fingers but who is the one who has not (hasn’t) written anything i.e is the fascist and is the scumbag (Benno).

I have done all the research on Southampton and it has proved rewarding. When the North, East, West and South of Ampton split following the great Ampton Splitting In To Four Parts War of the early 1100s, it was widely thought that in 2017 someone with all that time to prepare would be able to write a preview joke.

Prediction: 90 minutes of pure time. Plus a few more minutes where appropriate. Pens. If appropriate. 0-0 United.