Danny Welbeck

Watford 2 - 0 United

Watford 2 – 0 United

Danny?! Injured?! No. Way. Ole sign him up. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I’m glad I didn’t try bunch of abso cunts 2. Glad that helped my hangover 3. ffs

Watford vs. United

Watford vs. United

(@Benglorious) Are we playing today? Prediction: Lunch tomorrow I believe M  (@tom_mcghee) Lol I was gonna try and do some today but had to go and buy a suit and Hannas Christmas present lol Prediction: N/A  M (@bifurcated_utd) Prediction: Watfucks given more like

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

  (@Benglorious) Can’t believe I’ve only just realised that his name is Arsene and he’s the owner of Arsenal. It’s like they’re twins with unimaginative parents who love butts. Prediction: Wenger to sign off in his last game against United à la Steven Gerrard; by being linked to the Rangers job. Goals for Shaw and Welbeck […]

Arsenal 2 - 0 United

Arsenal 2 – 0 United

Losing 2-0 is worse than drawing 1-1, which is a little better than drawing 0-0, but it’s much better when we win 2-0. Here’s 5 things we learned, aside from Danny Welbeck is a massive traitorer: 1. Didn’t watch it as was cleaning up dogshit. 2. Which was actually preferable. 3. I did watch it […]

Watford vs United

Watford vs United

     Benno (@Benglorious) The season starts with a humdinger of a curtain-raiser as the mighty Watford entertain United at Vicarage Road. Luckily for us, Wayne Rooney CAPTAIN LEADER LEGEND is still England’s leading goalscorer. Even more luckily for us, Wayne Rooney CAPTAIN LEADER LEGEND is poorly so he won’t be playing. Slightly less luckily […]

LC: United vs Middlesborough

LC: United vs Middlesborough

 Benno (@Benglorious) Eating my dinner while I’m “writing” because apparently I have more important things in my life than this shambolic website. Only joking. Not the dinner part – I’ve just dropped some mince on thr kweybnoardf. m Opposition summary: Middlesborough should be better than my last joke, but you (me) haven’t seen them since […]

CL: PSV vs United

CL: PSV vs United

 Benno (@Benglorious) The Liverpool game has just finished on SkyGo. Great result and two very lucky goals by both side’s new signings. I predict things for our new lad, Martial, the first being money and his acquisition of an amount of it, and the second that he’ll make United fans have positive reactions again when they […]

Villa vs United

Villa vs United

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDER!! X X X X X X X X X X X X X  M m  Benno (@Benglorious)   Friday night is the best time for football.  The shops are shut so I don’t have to go shopping and it’s too dark for DIY. Actually, sod the football, I’m out of here. Opposition […]

Liverpool 1 – 2 United

Liverpool Rob (I didn’t know the Spanish had a thing for collecting stamps. It was an intriguing match where both teams struggled to create good scoring opportunities, both worked hard to find space and to close it down. Boring to a neutral, frustrating to a fan. I’m going to state the obvious here, for the […]

United vs Spurs

United vs Spurs

Benno (@Benglorious) To the lads; Hotel is amazing. Weather is brilliant. Went snorkelling today and saw a big ray thing. What was the score in the Arsenal game? Hope Angel did the business after my amazing preview. Did you know that they play football here in Jamaica but they use a smaller ball and hit […]

FAC: United 1 - 2 Arsenal

FAC: United 1 – 2 Arsenal

Nothing obliterates the myth that modern footballers “do their homework” in state of the art video suites more, than Ashley Young’s trick still beating any amount of full backs than is reasonable. They’re playing Daley Thompson on their Sinclair Spectrums, like the rest of us. p.s Down with the return of Ashley Young’s tendrils and […]

FAC: United vs Arsenal

FAC: United vs Arsenal

Benno (@Benglorious) By the time you two read this, I will be dead. I don’t know what’s gone wrong here.  That worked so much better in my head with completely different words. Anyway, Arsenal are the visitors tonight for this FA Cup match.  As this is the first time that United and Arsenal will have […]

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