West Hammers vs. United
(@Benglorious) It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul. Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. […]
Arsenal vs. United
m m (@Benglorious) With David Moyes finally proving his Premiership credentials yesterday, Mourinho and Wenger really have a lot to live up to today. I’m hoping for at least two plane banners locked in an aerial dogfight for at least 45 minutes or I want my money back for the Canadian stream I’m watching illegally. […]
Sunderland 0 – 3 United
Captain. Leader. Legend. Haterz gonna hate, but Fella’s gonna regulate! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Goals are good.
Swansea vs. United
(@Benglorious) Jose has a lot to do to change United’s fortunes after suffering his eighty-ninth consecutive defeat earlier in the week. Another forty defeats or so and he may have to seriously start worrying about his job, particularly as David Moyes has won more games than him and is also available without a notice period […]
Hull City vs United
Benno (@Benglorious) Hooray for us, we’re quite good again based on the three minutes of highlights I’ve watched from the two games we’ve played against very beatable opposition. Goals are good again (who saw that coming?) as are wins (who knew?) and expensive players. Expensive means best, like when you shop at Marks and Spencer. Everyone […]
FAC: Shrewsbury vs. United
Benno (@Benglorious) United will be looking to continue their fine run of form from the ’98/99 season and kickstart their run to this year’s FA Cup final with a convincing victory over Shrewsbury Town. The League One side know they can’t offer the glamour of a Champions League tie against Juventus, but the mayor of Shrewsbury, […]
Crystal Palace vs United
Benno (@Benglorious) Has he done the Wayne RoooOOOoooOOO000oney gag? Shit. What about the Marrying Formaldahyde one? What are the odds, eh? David Moyes, now that was scary. m Opposition summary: Crystal Palace are the best team in the Premiership League with a house in their name. Unless you count Aston Villa, but nobody does. Prediction: […]
United vs City
Benno (@Benglorious) Imagine if we’d got Mourinho instead of Moyes. Got that? Now imagine a giraffe, but with wheels and Quentin Tarantino’s face. Still with me? Now imagine a building so vast that it has its own capital city. What’s the name of that city? Nobody knows. I’ve forgotten my point. m Opposition summary: Manchester […]
Footballiversity #10 – August 2015
Multiversity was a DC comics series written by Grant Morrison. Every month saw a story loosely tied around a seemingly haunted comic book. Footballiversity and the various numbered Footballiverses are a shameless rip-off of the comics device (found elsewhere too, of course) of using parallel universes when you have nothing else to write about, and […]
United 3 – 0 Spurs
You have to feel for Rooney. Probably. On the very same day that video of him getting knocked out by Phil Bardsley is leaked on to the internet, he scores a goal in front of a packed Old Trafford, and is instantly confronted by a ghost, who offers him out, and knocks him out again! […]
FAC: Preston NE 1 – 3 United
Special Guest PNE Fan Hanna (@Hannamayj) When I signed up for this (I didnt sign up for this, I was held against my will) I didn’t realise it would extend to banter at both ends so here’s a match review which may or may not include mostly fan fiction… I arrived at Deepdale to the […]