Lol cos Brett’s in Poland.

(@Benglorious)

Prediction: 

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Prediction: 

 M

(@bifurcated_utd)

I’m on my way to Poland, so, no chance those two clowns will do a prediction.

Prediction: see above.

(@Benglorious)

Sussed.

Prediction: That to make sense when you read Tom’s.

M

 (@tom_mcghee)

Can’t be arsed already bored of talking about it with cunts on twitter.

Benno do you remember at primary school how Jody brown would always be like ‘ha, sussed’ I’m sure all of Twitter are his children.

Also Abso glols at Ed trying to suggest Pogba was good at Everton. Quoted his tackling stats: 100%. How many tackles you ask? Well just the one Bahahaha cunt.

Prediction: Glol what a shitshow of a season.

(@bifurcated_utd)

I am not watching this game as a personal protest against the Twitter scum who talk like a clownshoes wearing clowns. And not because my gf has insisted I go to her friend’s birthday because I have the night off and “can’t just spend all my time off talking on Twitter like a clownshoes wearing clown”.

Prediction: Numerous toilet breaks between every mouthful of food so I can talk like a clownshoes wearing clown on Twitter. 0 – 0 United

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. Dedham Vale is definitely an area of natural beauty but I don’t know if it’s as outstanding as they claim.

2. Fuck you Manchester United fuck you in your stupid asses you are clownshoes  you are moribund

3. Oooh check out who had a dictionary in their Easter Egg

T. Fuck words today it is too nice outside also I’m watching megamind so far I give it 4/5 capes (my new rating for superhero films).

B. I too like Megamind.

B. Fourthed.

(@Benglorious)

Another Derby match. Let’s hope Andross Townsend behaves in a respectful manner this time unless he wants to wake up on Mourinho’s hotel room floor.

Prediction: United to put out a full-strength squad, showing this great competition the respect it deserves. Something Andross Townsend would know nothing about. Lukaku to stay on for one more season at the behest of Uncle Lars. 0-0 United.

m

 (@tom_mcghee)

My preview will be in the medium of performative dance. I will need a basic stage/lighting set-up and £8000.

It (1990)

In the spirit of something I wanted to watch the original It movie, starring Tim Curry as Pennywise the clown. Imagine my surprise when I found that this movie did not exist. What I ended up watching was the It mini-series, starring Tim Curry as Pennywise the clown. That aside, pretty good.

Prediction: Mkhitaryan to finally step up and show us his level. 0-0 United.

m

(@bifurcated_utd)

It hardly seems fair that we have to play Everton AND Liverpool at the same time. Has anyone asked the F.A to justify this injustice of injustices? Is it 22 players against 11? Do they have to play with a handicap? i.e Rooney. Has anyone seen my ‘Calvin Classics’ I got for Christmas? I left them under the tree and now don’t have a clue where they are.

Prediction: Benno to still be shitting through a sieve. If the curse I bought off that fella down the pub is worth the bar mat it’s written on. 0-0 United.