Benno (@Benglorious)

Imagine if we’d got Mourinho instead of Moyes. Got that? Now imagine a giraffe, but with wheels and Quentin Tarantino’s face. Still with me? Now imagine a building so vast that it has its own capital city. What’s the name of that city? Nobody knows. I’ve forgotten my point.

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Opposition summary: Manchester City are the best team in Manchester that we hate a little bit.

Prediction: So many goals up in this place they’ll have to rename it Goalchester. They probably won’t do that because of the hassle of changing all the road signs and having to think up a new word for ‘Madchester’. 0-0 United.

 Tom (@tom_mcghee)

Can’t do words as El Capitan is downloading slower than Daley Blind.

If I email one of youse, can you copy and paste?

Derby isn’t even in Manchester.

Film review: Jurassic World [see Jurassic Park review, bifurcated_previews_United_vs_Chelsea_2017]

Prediction: 6-1 City. Lol. As if that could happen. Nasri for Rooney.

Please italicise the film titles – I am a professional. And also by email i mean this.

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 Brett (Alisha’s@ic)

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Like David and Goliath. Like chalk and cheese. Like night and day. Like light and shade. Like two sides of a coin.

Just a bit of information about me for you there: I like David and Goliath and chalk and cheese and nights and days and light and shade and both sides of all the coins.

It’s very rare that an anagram gets to play against itself, and disappointingly this pathetic half-arsed anagram is as close as we’re going to get. Embarrassing and sad, really. No surprise Manchester is red and/or blue, really.

Prediction: Danny with his cosmo copy tucked under his arm throughout. One of two things will happen in this game: I’ve narrowed it down, now you do the math. If it’s not one of those, you only have yourself to blame. 0-0 United.