Bifurcated Manchester United » GTA

CL: Sevilla 0 – 0 United

Us — Sat, 24 Feb 2018 19:05:55 +0000

We had to endure a WhatsApp group chat with real talk from McGhee. This game was bad. Or at least some aspect of it was. Whatever McGhee was talking about. Dunno. Didn’t read it.

Here’s 5 things we learned:

1. So confused. Before the game everyone was mad about Pogba not playing in what looked like a 433 but then he came on really early and we still didn’t win or play that well but everyone was still mad.

2. Chris Smalling is a performing art piece imho. And a bad one.

3. I’m not sure Sanchez was a good choice. I’d’ve used the Bati lol little GTA humour there to lighten the mood.

4. Can’t believe Daniel Storey thinks Brett is funny.

5. Seconded.

6. That Daniel Storey sure knows the journalism.

Southampton 0 – 0 United

Us — Thu, 18 May 2017 08:16:19 +0000

We asked Jose Mourinho to comment on the last 6 years of Bifurcated, and he had this to say: The intensity is there. Which is just what I ask for. I could not ask for more.

Here’s 5 things we learned when the football interrupted our 90 minutes of doing other things to ease the pain i.e glassing ourselves with glass made from sharks:

1. Football is rubbish

2. There’s these cunts on GTA that seem able to withstand loads of bullets but can kill you in like 2 shots. And he was only doing it because I blew up his helicopter.

3. Jake threw a party at a conference because the Buffalo PD got arrested for corruption

4. Holt loves thermometers

5. STEVE HOLT

Euro 2016: Weeko Dos Le Rue-vous

Us — Mon, 27 Jun 2016 16:51:29 +0000

BifEUROcated WEEK DOS REVIEW

Tom (@tom_mcghee)

What the fuck Brett? I come into Bifurcated Towers, on the weekend, dodging mad nationalist pensioners, only to find youse pair have done less than me. I’ll be honest, I’ve mainly been playing GTA, watching Sopranos (It’s about the mafia) and watching the football so it’s kinda become one in my mind; can’t see Silvio without seeing old Ronaldo etc. That aside, pretty good. Messi’s free-kick was sublime. And remember: vote remain July 23rd.

Benno (@Benglorious)

I’m with Tom on this apart from the GTA and Sopranos thing – I’ve literally been doing nothing apart from United research for next season’s previews. I ain’t got time to bleed. And by bleed I mean write things about the Euros. Apart from this one thing I’ve written just now. In summation: goals are good, Mark Lawrenson is bad.

Brett (@bifurcated_utd)

I did the title with white letters again.