United's Midfield: Needing Something Other

United’s Midfield: Needing Something Other

For the past one hundred summers (or thereabouts), the transfer window for United fans has played out like a clever analogy for unparalleled frustration; with nothing remotely central-midfieldy to celebrate. But for a club who supposedly don’t have, haven’t had, or even seemingly got all that close to buying, any one of the best central […]

Misnomers, Misdemeanors, EPL, O.T: Get Ur Freak On

Misnomers, Misdemeanors, EPL, O.T: Get Ur Freak On

Oi! Everything! Yeah, you Everything, I’m talking to you … pipe down at the back Something Else and you, Another Thing.  Put your hand down, this isn’t an open forum, or ruddy show and tell.  Look , Everything just stop happening for a one lousy second … thank you. Okay, now, I was doing this introduction to this post that […]

Fair to Middle Men

Fair to Middle Men

As United have apparently stumbled upon their early season lull a couple of months behind the expected schedule (or 10 months early, for those insisting we aren’t going to be having one this season), it’s only natural that collective fingers are prepared, sharpened, pointed, prodded and jabbed violently in the direction of the presumed culpable parties amongst the squad. In ‘failing’ to replace Scholesy […]

United 1 - 6 Man City

United 1 – 6 Man City

Well I’ve seen a lot of things while I’ve been blogging for Bifurcated…But I didn’t really expect to see that. The result does suggest City will be more of a problem than I personally gave them credit for at the start of the season. There is a marked improvement from last season. They actually feel […]

Who's Bad? Why Hargreaves won't fit in at City.

Who’s Bad? Why Hargreaves won’t fit in at City.

As the mass populous of football fans, primarily United ones,  whip themselves in to a vitriolic frenzy about the potential move of Owen Hargreaves to Manchester City we at Bifurcated have decided to look at things with a bit more clarity…through the eye of mathematics. Armed with two (TWO!) sheets of graph paper, a permanent […]

Player Of The Season 2012: Anderson.

Player Of The Season 2012: Anderson.

Is it a Bird?… No, he’s just got braided hair you bigot! Is it a plane? … Well, he’s carrying a bit of extra cargo. and in some areas he’s first class (?!) … NO! It’s Anderson Luís de Abreu Oliveira. Anderson. Ando. Player of the season 2012. My hero *swoon*. I tried calling Paddy […]

Very superstitious? Pants, prayers & pullovers.

Very superstitious? Pants, prayers & pullovers.

My United wrist-band (worn as a pseudo-tribute to Hargo), my United footy socks, my retro 80’s United cap and my awkwardly ill-fitting red jumper cut a clumsy path to my bed. I imagined I must have petulantly shrugged them off about 11 hours earlier. The scene complete with shoes on my cat’s bed suggested my […]


Owen Hargreaves – The Movie. (based on a true story that starts here…)

“Ich bin feeling so rad dude!” bellowed Owen as he violently embraced his good friend Dimitar. With a knowing smile and a lackadaisical shrug Dimitar handed him the Champions League trophy and as he triumphantly hoisted it skywards the stadium erupted. He caught a glimpse of himself against the silver plate and pulled the trophy […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...