Ibra

T. Police: Zlatan

T. Police: Zlatan

Liverpool vs. United

Liverpool vs. United

 (@Benglorious) So glad we’ve got an easy game after the taxing international break. Statistics show that Liverpool are better than United at some things and worse than them at other things. The same statistics show that United are better than Liverpool at some things but worse than them at other things. Different statistics show that Liverpool […]

EL: United 1 - 0 Zorya

EL: United 1 – 0 Zorya

If only we’d known over the past ten years, that, every terrible first touch, Hollywood ball into the stands, attempted chip, shin, face plant, frustrated arms in the air, hair transplant, contract dispute, sex with grannys, misplaced 3-yard pass, misplaced 4-yard pass, misplaced 5-yard pass, misplaced 6-yard pass, misplaced 7-yard pass etc … was a […]

D.B Something: Zlatan Ibrahimovic

D.B Something: Zlatan Ibrahimovic

EL: Feyenoord 1 - 0 United

EL: Feyenoord 1 – 0 United

Oh how we missed our talisman/leader/creator/boss/inspiration/MVP/top dawg. Nasri. Here’s 5 thi etc… A) Rojo more like oh no! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha but seriously so bad. 6) One of their chants meant ‘Zlatan is a Chloe’. No idea but as long as it’s not bad I think this is great. VI) Had legit forgotten Memphis was a thing. […]

EL: Feyenoord vs. United

EL: Feyenoord vs. United

   FBA-Nominated Troll Benno (@Benglorious)  15.02, Thursday – Just found out there’s a game tonight. Prediction: Terrible. 5-0 United     FBA-Nominated Cunt Tom (@tom_mcghee) I don’t care. In fact, I don’t care so much, I’m going to smash your fucking face in. Related: anyone else notice the two teams who recently lost to City BOTH trained […]

United 1 - 2 City

United 1 – 2 City

Now we’re world famous across all 3 continents, after being nominated for the FBAs, we have no time to watch this shit – what with all the after-dinner mints, meating and grating, and opining of Supermarkets. Oooh, ruddy Tescos. Tesno more like. Our PA told us to say lol @ Bravo’s footwork and his ability […]

United vs. City

United vs. City

 FBA-Nominated football blog writer Benno (@Benglorious) It’s Derby time again! That special match that only comes round three, sometimes four or five but no less than two, times a year unless it only happens once. The winners get to make Manchester either red or blue in a tradition that stretches back all the way to the […]

Hull City 0 - 1 United

Hull City 0 – 1 United

We haven’t witnessed scenes like this at the Cake-Con Stadium since ‘Cake-Con ’03’ and the scenes with the cake and the scenes. In. Cred. Ib. Hull. Scenes. That’s mine. You can use that to make new friends in awkward social situations. Aka Brett’s life. Rashdawg utilised a loophole in matchday squad/substitution administration to circumvent Jose’s ageist […]

Hull City vs United

Hull City vs United

 Benno (@Benglorious) Hooray for us, we’re quite good again based on the three minutes of highlights I’ve watched from the two games we’ve played against very beatable opposition. Goals are good again (who saw that coming?) as are wins (who knew?) and expensive players. Expensive means best, like when you shop at Marks and Spencer. Everyone […]

Zlatan

Zlatan

United 2 - 0 Southampton

United 2 – 0 Southampton

“Remember when we won the league after two games. That was today.” Says it all. ‘Says it all’, although integral to the point, and acting somewhat as a qualifier/modifier (delete whichever is somewhere near closest to the appropriate rhetorical device) to the point being made, doesn’t count as an extra sentence, the top sentence stands […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

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