United 2 – 0 Southampton
“Remember when we won the league after two games. That was today.” Says it all. ‘Says it all’, although integral to the point, and acting somewhat as a qualifier/modifier (delete whichever is somewhere near closest to the appropriate rhetorical device) to the point being made, doesn’t count as an extra sentence, the top sentence stands […]
Bournemouth 1 – 3 United
Bournemouth were left speechless – GEDDIT?! cos mouth – as Juan Marta – GEDDIT?! cos sub – Wane Rooney – GEDDIT?! cos last 21 years – and Zlatan Ibrahitthenets – GEDDIT?! cos goals – hit them for six divided by two – GEDDIT?! cos maths and idiom*. If the English Premier League stopped right now […]
Bournemouth vs. United
Benno (@Benglorious) Huzzah, the football’s back. It’s been sorely missed what with the lack of an international tournament during the summer as well as no preseason friendlies, plus the Olympics not recognising it as a sport. United have bought a new manager this summer, who in turn has bought some new players, who in turn have […]
Community Championship: Leicester 1 – 2 United
Football is back here. Fasten your safety helmets, buckle on … Bifurcated is slipping up through the Germaine Grears and turboing the machs to full futuristicism. Peddles to the medals… It’s the one, two (though technically a number), three, four, five, siSIX words you’ve all been waiting all your “Boohoo it’s not like 2014, we’ve […]