Jesse

EL: Liverpool vs United

¬†Benno¬†(@Benglorious)   Another one of your ill-timed jokes? You and I are enemies now.   Ruddy love Thursday night football – The sound of the crowd, the smell of the bread, the vast selection of fruit and vegetables, the surprisingly excellent array of electrical goods… No, wait – that’s Sainsbury’s. I ruddy love Sainsbury’s. Thursday […]

FAC: Shrewsbury 0 – 3 United

Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]

Chelsea 1 - 1 United

Chelsea 1 – 1 United

After promising to do a win, with some promising doings, Vangle’s boychilds allowed a sexy baddy with a pair of dirty knickers on his face grab a late equalizerer. Even though we’re writing this after the Sunderland game, and the 1 Euro League, we’re looking forward to taking this promisingness into the next two games […]

United 3 – 0 Stoke

With heavy heart we bid a fond farewell and wave a tear-stained hanky to the goalless first half feats of yesteryear. Hoping this is merely a blip tbh. Jesse-dawg, Martial-dawg, and Roon-dawg proved themselves to be the swashbuckliest of swasherers, with net-bulging scorings that could shiver the timbers of the mightiest haunted pirate tree on […]

Newcastle 3 – 3 United

People of Newcastle: Spuggy, Spender, Cheryl Cole, Sting, we gave your boys one hell of a drawing. Roonslice rolled back the tyres to provide a glimpse of a pre-dollshair action hero we always loved. Can’t believe you lot were so fickle tbh. Here’s 5 things we learned as we stretch our unbeaten run to some […]

United 2 – 0 WBA

It was literally, metaphorically, and literally raining Premier League goals at Ol’ T at the weekend, as not one but two drops condensed from the dark clouds of the previous baron years. Even more exciting was the sight of Captain Evaporation being subbed off; 3 years after old father time had held up the metaphorical, […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

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