Juan Mata

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! WE’RE GONNA DO A TREBLE!!!! Here’s 5 things we learned about this game/life: i) If you watch the first half and it’s bad actually bad but then have to go out and come home to find it’s 1-0, it’s loads funnier. B) Watford’s mistake was missing all their chances. appendix) Streams are good except […]

MEMPHIS FULL STOP RASHFORD IN BRACKETS. Here’s the 5 things thing: 1) Beating goonsquad is always great (I re-learnt this). 2) I’ve worked out numbers. 3) Mata and Herrera and Memphis are good at football. 4) Marcus Rashford is a hammerlegend. 18) Would happily miss every match if it meant winning them all. 21) No […]

Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]

With heavy heart we bid a fond farewell and wave a tear-stained hanky to the goalless first half feats of yesteryear. Hoping this is merely a blip tbh. Jesse-dawg, Martial-dawg, and Roon-dawg proved themselves to be the swashbuckliest of swasherers, with net-bulging scorings that could shiver the timbers of the mightiest haunted pirate tree on […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) To take my mind off the football I’m currently watching Making a Murderer. If this show had been one of those schlocky American 1-hour specials nobody would be talking about it, but spread it out over ten shows on a paid subscription service and suddenly it’s the greatest crime show there’s ever been. […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) Matt Damon’s gob or whatever. Not even checking Brett’s to see if he’s already done that gag. I hope he has and I hope he cries. You NEVER make fun of another man’s trainers, even if they are made from seagulls. Which brings us nicely back to Bournemouth who are nicknamed the Seagulls. […]

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA (1/-1)   Here’s five things we learned from Europa League qualification: Swan) We couldn’t keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. Twit twoo) Louis van Gaal is a fraud. When I mispronounce stuff I just get laughed at but he seems to have made it into a whole career. Tree-creeper) The whole […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) You know those days when you get a weird flash of inspiration? Those days when a flippant comment gives you the idea that will change your life? Juan Mata as a pirate was going to be mine. Let me set the scene: A completely out of character interruption of someone else’s Twitter conversation. The […]

Ander the rare hare took the bull by the proverbial hooves and stuck it to the toffees like taking candy from a sweet shop, run by a baby (note to self: contact trading standards about this). A goal from Roondaddy brought him one step closer to becoming the all time goalscoring Wayne Rooney of all […]

Mar Seal did a two goals and Murder bludgeoned another, handing bread face his crust in his hands… Here’s 5 things we’ve learnt: 1) Up-fronterers ARE allowed to score the net points. 2) Vangle is an anagram of Leg Van. Makes you think. 3) The FA aren’t very good mathers: Southampton 2 – 3 United […]

What a game. I didn’t see it.