League Cup

EFLC: United 1 - 0 City

EFLC: United 1 – 0 City

If you want to learn that beating City is loads better than losing to City, and that Herrera is really spoiling us (lol, like the chocolate advert. You fuck off and get new jokes), and that well known raconteur and Royal correspondent Paul Gunning had this to say, “If ‘Antonio Valencia actually has a left […]

LC: Northampton 1 - 3 United

LC: Northampton 1 – 3 United

Lashitinfromayradfromgoallikehthehammerlegendyourareford more like. In other news: Skipper Roo finally silenced his critics with a display of such wanting-to-chainsaw-your-eyes-out-with-a-chainsaw-made-from-barbed-wire-so-you-can-never-suffer-watching-him-play-football-again depths. We all killed ourselves irl and that’s why we are silent, is the a joke. I’m writing this from beyond the grave. Tell my mum to feed the cat. And not the oily tuna. It plays […]

LC: Northampton vs. United

LC: Northampton vs. United

  m  FBA-Nominated Maverick (@Benglorious) The last time we played Northampton we actually had good players who were proven goalscorers for United – Diego Forlan and Mikaël Silvestre both netted that day. Those were the good times. Nowadays, we’re not even sure we can beat a team that is five hundred places below us in the league […]

LC: United 0 – 0 Middlesborough (1-3 pens)

With Halloween just around the corner, we’re giving this analysis an egg theme… An egg each took the match into Added Egg Time and then eggsactly what happened next has been destroyed in the fire. No doubt, Capper Roo set the eggsample, and Michael ‘The Michael Carrick’ Carrick, and Ashley ‘The Elder’ Young did the […]

LC: United vs Middlesborough

LC: United vs Middlesborough

 Benno (@Benglorious) Eating my dinner while I’m “writing” because apparently I have more important things in my life than this shambolic website. Only joking. Not the dinner part – I’ve just dropped some mince on thr kweybnoardf. m Opposition summary: Middlesborough should be better than my last joke, but you (me) haven’t seen them since […]

LC: United (1) vs Sunderland (2)

LC: United (1) vs Sunderland (2)

HAVE WE SIGNED MATA YET?! . . . . . WHAT ABOUT NOW?! . . . . . .   HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . AND NOW?! .         . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . . . . . . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . AND NOW?! . . HOW ABOUT […]

LC: Sunderland 2 - 1 United

LC: Sunderland 2 – 1 United

S’pose there’s no real harm in settling for the Charity Shield in your first year in charge. Well done! If we’re laughing at the referees, then someone needs to tell our collective face. There can be no excuse with regards to injuries, because that wouldn’t have been too far off the kind of team Moyes […]

LC: Sunderland vs United

LC: Sunderland vs United

This is the point where I usually do a thing about JOS, or perhaps Wesley, scoring an own goal, but instead this time I’ve just decided to reference doing that as a way of padding out the introduction. I don’t think JOS is fit anyway, and so Wesley is our only hope … he is, […]

LC: Stoke 0 - 2 United

LC: Stoke 0 – 2 United

All hail: Young Ashley’s goal; Patrice’s goal; Fletch getting more minutes and promising he’s all better; Rooney being out and giving Danny a chance; the result. I’ve run out of things to hail. Bored now. Potentially a nice little run of fixtures over the next couple of weeks. Who’d bet against us being in the […]

LC: Stoke vs United

LC: Stoke vs United

Nowadays, under Sparky (or as he’s now known ‘Mark Hughes’), tonight’s opponents can be weaselly distinguished, by their stokally different playing style, or something. I didn’t really think that opening sentence through. I imagine they’re still the same: Crouch with the occasional bit of magic and less occasional attempt at an overhead kick when it’s […]

LC: United 1 - 0 Liverpool

LC: United 1 – 0 Liverpool

I was away in Madrid during this game, so am posting my post-match thoughts through the medium of the text conversations with Bifurcated David and Liverpool Rob… ME: *If you wanna text me  scores while I’m away, that woud be nice bX* BD: *Okay, if you’re sure* LR: *I wouldn’t be so cruel* ME **silence** […]

LC: United vs Liverpool

LC: United vs Liverpool

I’d still like someone to tell me where Luis Suarez got that Andy McNab glove puppet? I’m not ready for football yet, and besides by the time the games kicks off I’ll be on holiday. I just hope Moyes gives the yoof a chance, though after Sunday, I can imagine he’ll find it hard to not […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

BifOtherStuffted

Archive