Season Review Innit
*Hilarious introduction* @EchoingQuack (85 year-old teenage girl) – How much longer are you going to keep the whole kooky “ooh there’s four of us” schtick up? feels a bit tired TBH TM: Fuck off cunt BG: Until after either Paul gets the presidency or the rest of us are dead by his hand. BU: […]
United 1 – 1 Leicester
If Leicester go on to win the league they’ll remember this day for the hell of a Vangleing they suffered at the hands of Louis Vangle’s Self-Harmy. Guess we’ll never know if they will. Not sure why anyone needs the excuse of arousing Vangle to elbow Robert Huth in the face. Especially anyone who has […]
Wolfsburg vs United
Benno (@Benglorious) You know those days when you get a weird flash of inspiration? Those days when a flippant comment gives you the idea that will change your life? Juan Mata as a pirate was going to be mine. Let me set the scene: A completely out of character interruption of someone else’s Twitter conversation. The […]
United 0 – 0 West Ham
Louis Van G0-0L more like. 5 things we have learned this week: l) If you don’t watch it, it doesn’t annoy you as much. z) Why wasn’t Rooney playing? Would’ve been a different story then! E) X-Files was/is really good. h) When working with industrial-grade solvents you should open some windows. Just one would have […]
Hull 1 – 1 United
The perfect end, to the perfect season. Thought for the Day: It’s the end of the season, but is it really the end of the season?
United vs Sunderland
Benno (@Benglorious) Sunderland, or the ‘Black Cats’ as they are called for some unknown reason, were founded in 1879 by a teacher, James Allan, who wanted a way to impress the dinner ladies at his school. Bitches love association football team founders who are also teachers. He must have had some success, as his team […]
Footballiversity #3
Multiversity is an ongoing DC comics series written by Grant Morrison. Every month sees a story in a different version of the DC universe (eg kids of the well-known heroes who have nothing to do because their parents created a utopia where the bad guys can never win) loosely tied around a seemingly haunted comic […]
FAC: Preston NE 1 – 3 United
Special Guest PNE Fan Hanna (@Hannamayj) When I signed up for this (I didnt sign up for this, I was held against my will) I didn’t realise it would extend to banter at both ends so here’s a match review which may or may not include mostly fan fiction… I arrived at Deepdale to the […]
United vs Burnley
Benno (@Benglorious) So many games in so little time. It’s like Christmas all over again but without the traditional burning of churches. Burnley are the opponents tonight. They’re from Burnley, which got its name from *insert your own tired joke here*. Prediction: Vangle will be looking to prove FAT SAM’S long ball theories wrong tonight with […]
West Ham 1 – 1 United
Give us this day our Danny Blind and forgive us our long passes, as we were playing them that long pass against us. And lead us not into tenth place please; with deliveries from Tony. Four-Five-One is the kingdom. And the power, and the glory, for Ander Herrera. Amen. Capper Roondog has come under a […]
West Ham vs United
Benno (@Benglorious) Poor old Ander Herrera. First, Vangle calls him a nice guy and then says he’s a great player. The guy can’t catch a break. Anyone would think there’s better players ahead of him in the team rather than football-related legal issues that could be damaging to United in the future. My advice to […]