Louis van Gaal

  Benno (@Benglorious) I don’t know much about replays (nobody does) but I really don’t want to sit through that drab 0-0 again (nobody does), so why BT Sport are showing the game again, nobody does.  It would make more sense (the cup’s format, not that previous sentence) for the two teams involved to play […]

I learned a valuable lesson this week: when something wins it’s British, and when it loses it’s Scottish. Not exactly sure of the benefits of being British, apart from you don’t have to pay for stuff with paper money that people want to throw house bricks at you for using, on site, and I suppose […]

Benno (@Benglorious) After being forced to make a grovelling apology to the entire writer’s room at Bifurcated Towers for my serious preview last week (THAT WAS THE JOKE FFS), I am pleased to confirm that normal comedy service will be resumed this week after all my internet privileges were revoked and four of my fingers […]

Well, after Benno got the score right (IN YOUR FACE HAYTERZ!) – which was step one of our seven step plan for World domination – he took his winnings from the beters and instead of investing in step two, he took the opportunity to leave Bifurcated. There was a montage, then he spent all his […]

Benno (@Benglorious) Southampton are yet another of those teams that played Sunderland one day and stole their kits.  Seriously:  why do so many teams have the same kits?  I may be colour-blind, but even I know there’s enough colours in a set of Crayolas for every team to have a different colour shirt.  Southampton could […]

Benno (@Benglorious) “Happy New Year” is me telling you all (Ha! “You all”) a massive lie because it’s still 2014 as I write this.  In my head it’s still 1994 but that’s my problem, not yours.  If it WAS still 1994 we wouldn’t be playing Stoke because I don’t remember them playing back then, ergo: […]

Robin Van Persie grabbed two hugely important goals for Manchester United and new manager Louis Van Gaal, as they extended their winning run of games to five – a succession of results not matched by any other Premier League club so far this season. But Soton and new manager Ronald Koeman can consider themselves very […]

Benno (@Benglorious): They’re all there without me.  All of them going to the game, to be followed by the biggest Twitter meet-up since the 1998 World Cup final.  I bet there’s jokes and laughing.  Everyone will be laughing and riding and cornholing except Benno.  I didn’t want to go anyway.  I love Christmas shopping far too […]

Looks like none of us can do it. Promises to be the best one yet.    Today’s Match Pack: UNITED vs PALLIS 2mins: Dave’s kept us in it there. 4mins: Great tackle by Chris Smalling. 12 mins: Someone’s going to get on the end of one those Valencia crosses any year soon. 16 mins: Dave’s […]

Benno (@Benglorious): The Crystal Palace was a cast-iron and plate-glass building originally erected in Hyde Park, London, England, to house the Great Exhibition of 1851.  More than 14,000 exhibitors from around the world gathered in the Palace’s 990,000 square feet of exhibition space to display examples of the latest technology developed in the Industrial Revolution.  Designed by Sir […]