EL: United vs. Zorya
ICBM-nominated for beating Brett at Stratego (@Benglorious) Zorya is not a thing. Even though I’ve now heard of it, it’s still not a thing. Apropos of almost nothing (the Bifurcated motto), here’s some things that start with ‘z’ that actually are things: Zebra (shit horse) Zombie (shit person) Zodiac (shit goats and shit) Zelda (shit […]
United 2 – 0 Southampton
“Remember when we won the league after two games. That was today.” Says it all. ‘Says it all’, although integral to the point, and acting somewhat as a qualifier/modifier (delete whichever is somewhere near closest to the appropriate rhetorical device) to the point being made, doesn’t count as an extra sentence, the top sentence stands […]
Bournemouth 1 – 3 United
Bournemouth were left speechless – GEDDIT?! cos mouth – as Juan Marta – GEDDIT?! cos sub – Wane Rooney – GEDDIT?! cos last 21 years – and Zlatan Ibrahitthenets – GEDDIT?! cos goals – hit them for six divided by two – GEDDIT?! cos maths and idiom*. If the English Premier League stopped right now […]
CL: PSV 2 – 1 United
5 things we learnt watching United’s Champions League defeat: 1. Nobody likes Hector Moreno. 2. Everybody likes Luke Shaw. 3. Football clubs are the worst clubs. They cost loads to get in and you have to sing your own songs. At least you can get in wearing trainers. 4. Anthony Martial has a melting point […]
CL: United vs Brugge
m Benno (@Benglorious) LADS LADS LADS IT’S CHAMPIONS LEAGUE qualifiers I went to Brugge once. I didn’t. I saw In Bruges (2008) once. Are they the same place? I guess we’ll never know. All we do know is that Brugge is an anagram of ‘bugger’ and In Bruges is an anagram of ‘Colin Farrell is a nob’. […]
