Moyes

Special Guest PNE Fan Hanna (@Hannamayj) DIRECTIONS (Assuming no Red has ever been further north than Bolton before) : Go north up the M6 for 30 miles and exit at the Tickled Trout, or Junction 31 to non-Prestonians (we had a town meeting to decide the naming of all major junctions. Probably. Either way, that’s […]

Benno (@Benglorious) So many games in so little time.  It’s like Christmas all over again but without the traditional burning of churches.  Burnley are the opponents tonight.  They’re from Burnley, which got its name from *insert your own tired joke here*. Prediction:  Vangle will be looking to prove FAT SAM’S long ball theories wrong tonight with […]

Benno (@Benglorious) After being forced to make a grovelling apology to the entire writer’s room at Bifurcated Towers for my serious preview last week (THAT WAS THE JOKE FFS), I am pleased to confirm that normal comedy service will be resumed this week after all my internet privileges were revoked and four of my fingers […]

Benno (@Benglorious):   The Bobbins:  A Tale of Trying King Alexander had ruled Traffordonia for nearly thirty years.  He was much respected by his enemies and beloved by his people because during his reign the kingdom had flourished, and was the envy of the whole world.  Alexander knew that his time as king was coming […]

Whoever the new Louis van Gaal is, I really hope they make Giggsy their number two. The Moyes toll taken on the players was visibly lifted and, well, it’s obvious why. Keeping Scholesy and Bicky Nutt involved in some capacity would again serve the new Louis van Gaal very well – whoever the board choose […]

Ben (Benglorious): The season was over for us long ago, so I still have no idea why I have to write these things.  It’s not like anything momentous has happened at Old Trafford this week…………………………………………………………….. HA!  You were expecting my phone to ring there, but the joke’s on you:  I’ve actually been keeping abreast of […]

I’m saying nothing. That doesn’t count. Nor that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Neither does that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Nor that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that. That doesn’t either. Or that. Or that. Or […]

Ben (Benglorious): Not really sure if there’s any point writing anything today.  Liverpool are cruising to the title as we speak, and I’m pretty sure that is one of the harbingers of the apocalypse.  Don’t quote me on that; it’s been a while since I read that Bible thing.  I suppose I should fulfil my […]

Unlike Fergie, Moyes didn’t have the luxury of a Michael Owen on the bench in the big Champions’ League game, or even a Berba to leave out completely … and so the result in the end was inevitable. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Rooney. Hey?! Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Carrick. Hey?! *note to self: try mixing […]

  Ben (Benglorious): It’s here at last.  The big one I’ve been waiting for.  It’s been over a week since I last glued my eyes to something of such importance and intensity.  In the meantime, I’ve had to settle for the non-match of a comfortable win against one of the other Uniteds (I forget which). […]

The massive contract, the neglecting of the rest of the squad for the whole season, kissing Wayne’s gluteal folds in public view, trying to replace the devil on the crest with Rooney’s face, all worth it, as Moyes finally gets the best 90 minutes out of Wayne Rooney for years. What a joy: Shinji, Juan, […]