Old Trafford

United 0 - 0 West Brom

United 0 – 0 West Brom

Fortress Old Trafford yet again proved impenetrable to yet another top tier club from yet another of Europe’s elite leagues, yet again. Here’s five things we yet again learned yet again: 1. If you don’t watch it – because you’re finishing a path – and then check Twitter afterwards, you legit can’t tell if we’ve won […]

EL: Zorya 0 - 2 United

EL: Zorya 0 – 2 United

I had to write out 200 words from a WhatsApp convo, so you can suck on your disappointment if you want me to write anything else apart from here’s 5 things we learned from the Europa League glory:   1) Hards pitches equals wins. 2) Cement over Old Trafford pitch. 3) ?????? 4) Profit. 5. […]

United 1 - 1 Arsenal

United 1 – 1 Arsenal

Keane and Vieira, Keown and Van Nistelrooy, Wright and Schmeichel, Wenger and Fergie, Wenger and Mourinho, Wenger and Dugout, 8 and 2, Title and Winning at Old Trafford, we gave your boys one hell of a drawing. Here’s 5 things we learned from the latest war, in this war to end all wars in wardom: […]

United 2 – 0 WBA

It was literally, metaphorically, and literally raining Premier League goals at Ol’ T at the weekend, as not one but two drops condensed from the dark clouds of the previous baron years. Even more exciting was the sight of Captain Evaporation being subbed off; 3 years after old father time had held up the metaphorical, […]

United vs. Spurs

United vs. Spurs

Wm m NEW SEASON, NEW LOOK BIFURCATED avatars M  Benno (@Benglorious) Mere time units since some no-mark team from some overrated city lifted the Premiership League trophy, we’re here again for yet another season of this game that you all love so dearly.  When will it all end? Some old players have left, some new ones […]

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

Benno (@Benglorious) It’s all excitement and joy today in Bifurcated Towers as myself and Tom (the guy with the preview below mine that you always skip over to get to Brett’s little piece of insanity) are actually visiting the Theatre of Dreams in actual real life and stuff.  Apparently, the previews we write are for […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...