Sanchez

United 3 - 2 Newcastle

United 3 – 2 Newcastle

  Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game? 2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much. 3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great […]

West Ham 3 - 1 United

West Ham 3 – 1 United

So proud. Another none-loss at OT. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. You can make Febreze with fabric softener and water mixed in a spray bottle. 2. Beginning to think Jose Mourinho isn’t the brilliant tactician I thought he was [insert homer running in circles on the ground gif or don’t who fucking cares] 3. […]

United 1 - 1 Wolves

United 1 – 1 Wolves

Proof if were needed that we are exactly the same as City. They drew 1-1 with Wolves. We drew 1-1 with Wolves. The same. Exactly the same. Same. The English Premier League Table needs to get it’s act together and sort it out. SAME. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. I very legit cannot […]

United vs. Wolves

United vs. Wolves

  (@Benglorious)  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t do words today pals please make up some. Although I don’t think Wolves should be allowed to be football unfair on both sides imho Be football? I’d’ve said ‘play football’ makes more sense that way imho you bald cunt Though kicking wolves around for 90 minutes would be unfair too Don’t […]

United 2 - 1 Leicester

United 2 – 1 Leicester

CHAMPIONEEEES!! CHAMPIONEEEES!!! OLAY!! OLAY!! OLAY!!   That’s right … Mushrooms and Skin Cream. Mushrooms and Skin Cream.   Here’s 5 things we learned (we actually learned 6 things but Brett’s 6th thing was diss on the NHS, so, he is a “bad” “guy”): 1. Winning is definitely better than losing. 2. Ladies and gentleman we […]

United's Season Review 2018

United’s Season Review 2018

  Bite us.

FAC SF United 2 - 1 Tottenham Spurs

FAC SF United 2 – 1 Tottenham Spurs

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSS … !!!! Wait. What were we saying?! andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus no, it’s gone.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. After a couple of minor upgrades Atreus becomes a decent ally to Kratos. 2. Herrera is the […]

United 2 - 1 Chelsea

United 2 – 1 Chelsea

I don’t need to write anything about the game here, as the 5 things we learned bit below more than makes up the word count. Here’s  5 things we learned: 1. The best bit was tasting Graeme’s salty tears. 2. Other good bits were Lukaku and Pogba and Matic. 3. Sanchez was not a good […]

CL: Sevilla 0 - 0 United

CL: Sevilla 0 – 0 United

We had to endure a WhatsApp group chat with real talk from McGhee. This game was bad. Or at least some aspect of it was. Whatever McGhee was talking about. Dunno. Didn’t read it.     Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. So confused. Before the game everyone was mad about Pogba not playing in […]

Alexis

Alexis

United 2 - 0 Huddersfield Town

United 2 – 0 Huddersfield Town

With Huddersfield distracted by trying to figure out whether they were a Field or a Town, United notched up two goals in spite of their best attempts to miss them both like the heroes we deserve. Lols @ Sanchez Rooneying his penalty like a true Red Leg. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. The Last […]

Tottenham Hotspurs 2 - 0 United

Tottenham Hotspurs 2 – 0 United

<—- Match Summary. Here’s 5 things we learned from the “match”: 1. Fuck off. 2. Some fans think Jose is more to blame than Phil Jones for Phil Jones’ og. It has kept me awake at nights. 3. Weird when we win we’re still shit but any time anyone beats us we’re the best scalp […]

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