Swansea

(@Benglorious) We can legit just copy and paste last week’s preview while Brett is in Poland: Brett is in Poland so we have no natural leader or a jokes. Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) As above. That aside, pretty good. Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) I’m in Poland. In minus 26 temperatures. Survival is my priority. […]

I’m in a queue for tickets for next round. Bite me. Here’s 5 things what we learned: 1. GTA survivals have gotten a lot harder. 1. 40yr-old consumer units do not meet current safety regulations. 2. That was meant to be 2. 3. That one wasn’t. 4. 2 that is, not one.

 @Benglorious) I like watching football when we win. I won’t be watching tonight. Prediction: Lukaku to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. 0-0 United. m     m  (@tom_mcghee) As the questions over Brett’s tenuous grasp of reality continue to flood the secret DM group that me and Benno have, it’s time that […]

With Brett (the maverick one of us) in Poland you would think us two clowns (Tom and Benno) would do this review, but we are massive blends. FOURchester United more like! Here’s FOUR things we learned in honFOUR of FOUR FOURmidable team: 1. I’m not sure how to handle all these goals. 2. It just […]

 @Benglorious) It’s so much easier to write a decent preview after we’ve won the previous game.   Prediction: Lukaku to continue his development by kissing his sister and then hitting the winner into the exhaust port. 3-1, United  m  (@tom_mcghee) Cannot do words today. I am a conscientious objector over Swansea’s role in Vietnam. Damn them, damn […]

Jose Mourinho has turned drawing into an art form, and yet we all know that the definition of art is: A man or woman reading a book, to a deaf toy. I’ve forgotten my point.     Here’s 5 things we learned at the weekend: 1. We’re shit. 2. I cannot adequately express the rage […]

(@Benglorious) After basking in the glow of Sunderland getting deservedly relegated, I considered calling Ol’ Davey Moyes to offer my sympathies. However, I then remembered what an odious prick and terrible manager he is so I went for a poo instead. I also didn’t have his number. m Prediction:  Swansea to knockout Klitschko in the […]

United RE-LIT THE MATCH of title challenges, with a ROCKET from Pogba and a couple of SPARKLERS from Zlatan, and a FIRE performance that would have made Guy Fawkes proud. Except they completed what they set out to do. Although in conceding a goal in the second half, they actually were getting quite close to the […]

 (@Benglorious) Jose has a lot to do to change United’s fortunes after suffering his eighty-ninth consecutive defeat earlier in the week. Another forty defeats or so and he may have to seriously start worrying about his job, particularly as David Moyes has won more games than him and is also available without a notice period […]

The old reliable shin came to the rescue again as Louis Vangle’s Calmy marched into 2016 with a battle cry loud enough to be heard. Roondo’s goooooooooooooalaaaaaaazo goal goal goal goal goal goal goal goal was only the second outing for the magic shin since records began, and propelled the absolute Leg.end to second in […]

m  Benno (@Benglorious) I like Swansea. The football team, not the godforsaken scumtown. Vangle doesn’t. The football team, that is. I have no idea what he thinks of Swansea because he keeps his town reviews locked away in a special cabinet along with all our goals AMIRITE LADS?!?!?!? I’ve never been to Swansea. I’ve been to […]